Stuart Miller-Osborne

I used to have a rabbit named John As his hutch was situated in our loo John had the biggest rabbit ears That I had ever seen If I was in a cruel mood I would cover John’s eyes With his enormous ears And thought little of it Until one day I came home from […]

I was in a xoffee var Opposite a main line Railway station It was nearly midnight Our train was due in Ten In a few minutes So was half and hour away xoffee var is an american chain Of coffee bars situated on or near Main line railway stations Ten is a small town In […]

Leo and Loon Walk around cities Hand in hand Leo paints Loon is a seamstress

I frequently enter unknown tunnels with my trusty microphones This is considered odd by those who do not enter unknown tunnels Or have more than a passing interest in ghosts and other blue ghosts

If one drove their car around A totally circular roundabout Without ever stopping How would their journey Be described

If you were walking down a street And you found an envelope What would you do If it was not addressed to you I would find a post box And And what What would you do I would find a post box What happens if you were unsuccessful In your search for the said post […]

On the eve of my sixteenth birthday Silly Mummy booked a family naturist holiday At a resort in South Western France For Silly Silly Sister Daddy and myself We caught a bus from the high street in Arundel Changed one hundred and forty seven times Before arriving at the resort of naturist Cap D’Agde I […]

I own two dull smiling stones Which I found just over a year apart I say own but one cannot own a stone Stones own stones that is pretty obvious The larger of the stones has a recognisable face Which seems to be frozen in an open horror Whereas the smaller stone has a mangled […]

My pen friend was fatter Than I had imagined her This said she was very attractive I rang my mother and told her That I had arrived without harm Even though the flight had been tedious My painting was in a position of honour On the wall facing the wide windows I had painted a […]

Are you happy Billy Billy Yes I am happy Even with all the misery Around the world Some might call You a shallow liar I am happy happy And do not Given a fig About the misery of others Interview in Interview 1984