Stuart Miller-Osborne

Why are you a dunce Silly Boy Discuss Dunce the term was derived from the 13th-century Scottish philosopher John Duns Scotus His later followers (Cambridge Students) resisted the new Renaissance learning Causing 16th-century critics to use his name as an insult for a foolish people Or for people who come from Preston and its surrounding…

What are your favourite summer memories Mark Winter days when the labourers freeze in the fields I like the farmers harvesting their golden corn Do you not just love it When the late afternoon sun Dances merrily within The extensive dust clouds No It makes me so happy that I could sit down and cry…

Come into my garden Maude That is a disgusting suggestion Claudia I am very surprised at you Would you like to see my bare butt Why would you surrender such a question Because I thought it would be more interesting Than asking you to look at my fountain pen It is also a far more…

Butch and I were standing In the long shadows of the day Waiting for the Non Eclipse The evening ride was over And our bicycles were resting Near the sloping path leading to the beach You were reading The Odyssey I was reading The Iliad Both were written by Homer Although this now seems doubtful…

A jogger was singing My favourite folk song It Always Rains On the Wednesday Child

It was really a glorified sunset Agreeable and very very pretty I was able to show off my football skills And take a number of memorable photographs Jane was impressed The birds less so Viola was neutral

On the final day of my holiday I found the wreck of a pirate ship In a rock pool near the point Enclosed within the rotting wood Was a treasure chest Full of jewels silver and gold I hid it under wreaths of sea weed So that I might enrich myself On each of my…

On the day before the eclipse I was in my wonderful garden writing a poem about roses When a grasshopper landed on my foot Nothing else happened until alarmed by a sudden gust of wind it vanished I have never had occasion to consider this until now

During my writing career I have been called The Grasshopper Which is a humour About my ability To hop from one poem To another without falling

Take me to the lido Maude As we are fast approaching The end of these tremendous days In a month these summer hours Will just be happy memories Thinning and slowly fading Into the grip of the cooler winds