Stuart Miller-Osborne

Take your dog for a walk wearing a sleep mask Watch lesbian porn in a catholic church during mass Do not speak for forty days and forty nights Spend ten years stranded on a desert island Kill any politician who disagrees with your views Purchase a crossbow online with a dozen eggs Exhibit a painting…

Was the first movie that I ever made It bombed at the box office Only just covering it production costs I shot it in three days in my apartment Wearing only a bear costume My real life Sister Eileen Played the part Of Eileen Who steals a lizard From a zoo And pretends It is…

Andres Adams Bertie Basset Chris Coleman Were the mainstays Of cinema in my home town They owned three cinemas In the Bays Down Road I worked at the second cinema With Bertie’s daughter Lou A World Without Women Was my second feature And starred Lou As a deaf mute girl Who was a talented artist…

Last summer Jayne and I visited Wales Our main idea was to take a walking holiday But due to the ferocity of the weather We decided to take shorter walks And then travel by train when time allowed The Abermule train crash happened on the 26th of January 1921 Seventeen people died in this terrible…

And nothing else That was the last thing I said to Monika Before I jumped on the train To the capital city To assassinate the president She did not understand me And I have not seen her since One day when I escape Or am released I will tell her the meaning

How long did you spend in Bellow About six months Describe Bellow to me Well above all it is a railway town Without a station It used to have a station Bur it closed in 1966 The town never recovered As it worshipped its railway Do trains still pass by Yes How many Up to…

Of Erin Pye upset the village of Cross As she is tone deaf She does not understand music That is where the problem lies

Petra P lies in her bath Whilst Stevie Three Watches the blue trains Through the swirling mists

Is sleeping beneath Her crisp white sheets Outside of her room Express trains thunder by It is a comfortable feeling

Is in the mood For the trains That approach her Through the mists Of North Yorkshire