Stuart Miller-Osborne

Come here Joaquin There is time for a coffee Before our flight is called We are visiting so many cities In the next twenty four days My grandfather was a part Of a bomber crew Whose plane was shot down Over some English fields He was the only survivor As a rare forest broke his…

A featureless valley flanked by hills It seems so very peaceful now This was once the scene Of an unimaginable slaughter I lost two of my brothers here Perhaps they sleep beneath me

Malcolm Yes Do you realise Realise what That you really fuck me off How do I fuck you off Robby Please call me Roberta That is my name How do I fuck you off Roberta You like trains I know I do Does that fuck you off Not really Then what fucks you off Because…

Like many artists I search for the organic Which translated means Combing the beach For interesting things I have summered in a beach hut Near a giant power station My muse has an unusual name And often sleeps in past nine She greets me with a hot coffee When I return with some of my…

When I first met him I thought that my future Lay in a boiling pot But it soon became apparent That he had no intentionOf harming me in any way As he was a troubled poet Who just wanted a friend To accompany him on his walks Around this strangely magical city

I do not speak French very well But feel welcome as I have a beautiful wife Food wise I am a total oaf yet this is ignored Because I care greatly for my pet lobster On these scalding summer days

After my car broke down I wandered for a while Into a sleeping village My phone was dead I was looking for a light You will find a phone Outside the station Said a woman From behind a door You cannot miss it But miss it I did As although I found The partly unlit…

As I was going abroad for six months I rented my Paris apartment To Lola and Tony who were just friends I had a feeling at the time That their feelings might mature As they cared for each other My thoughts proved to be correct Because on my return I found out That my now…

I have always considered the seventies As the innocent years Everything was so laid back In those days you could see your future We had just come out of a huge war Do not be such a silly cow Alison The seventies were hard We had been betrayed by the socialists Who understood the Beano…

The President of my Country Has agreed to narrate Each of my holiday movies Yan and Jan are driving to Portugal Where we will stay near the salt flats Of Albacunda Nedo and Barrol I am honoured that my leader Has agreed to accompany us With his sister wife and mistress I will record this…