Stuart Miller-Osborne

I had never wanted to act But when the chance arrived I accepted the role Of Red Berries Who is a mute drifter Trying to solve The murder of a model Cold since the late nineteen fifties It is quite a twisted movie Which is forever eating away At its own rotten core I have…

TBC

What happened I threw a pan of boiling water At a famous chef Why Because he murdered A lobster in Milton Keynes It was selected at random Read this Tiff It is in Portuguese The Braille translation Is on the reverse side Boil a live lobster in heavily salted water For eight to ten minutes…

Did she end up in a boiling pot At a popular Parisian brothel Or did she travel with the boy poet Away from the madness of his pen

Was the little known name Of a most famous lobster After her gentle master died Little is known of her fate She was seen occasionally But faded soon afterwards Into the alleys and backstreets Of her previous haunts

The mysterious cargo of the stricken Indian ship Was washed up on southern coasts for the next few years Its presence and its musical qualities were much valued I actually have a few examples in a glass jar on my desk The tar substitute is even with its shingle additions Is quite ordinary to the…

During the harsh winter of 1958 A number of ships were lost at sea Within the sight of the English coast One of these was the OPIHR Which was involved in a collision With the Swedish freighter Anne Thankfully the crew of the Indian ship Were all rescued and no lives were lost But the…

Something strange has happened to me As I have found the exact Wodehouse book That I had left on a train in Kandy here in Hanoi

I have just received an official notification That I will have to marry Sabrina Or the authorities will close my eight yard railway Sabrina thinks the ultimatum is unfair But is attracted by the Inland F grant Which will enable me to extend My eight yard railway to Finland

Of late I felt Very Lowe Who used to like my attention But although I am a Number 8 I feel that I am identifying As a Number 7 And on very bad days a Number 13 My GP had diagnosed depression And has prescribed a course Of brittle tar pills and local honey My…