What are you doing Stan 

Writing as normal 

Or rather thinking then writing 

Do you realise that thousands of turkeys and thousands of trees 

Is this going to be a Christmas fact Stan 

Are slaughtered each year to celebrate a single birth 

Not listening Stan not listening Stan 

La la La la La La 

Finished yet 

That is an interesting fact 

Suppose you are a turkey happy in a yard 

Living a turkeys life 

You have turkey plans 

And then you are cruelly executed 

And end up on the plate of some fat cunt you shits you out a few hours later 

La La La La La La 

Do you think that God wants that as he loves his all of his creatures 

And then we kill therm 

But we are veggies Stan 

That is because we have seen the light 

Many others have not 

The turkey I was talking about might have understood the Tractatus Logico Philosophicus                                                 

What makes you think that 

Because I do not know 

And now the poor creature is in the body of the fat cunt next door 

It is also in the fridge ready for sandwiches 

The fat cunt might be going to the park with his family 

It is Christmas after all

The cat will eat the rest and shit in the residential gardens 

I wonder what Ludwig would have made of that 

Fuck knows 

Stan 

Yes 

Why have you written 

The Amateur Assassin on your blotting pad 

Why should I have not written The Amateur Assassin on my blotting pad

Are there any laws in the universe that say that I should not do this 

I might have just as easily written monkey on the blotting pad 

But you have written The Amateur Assassin on your blotting pad 

That is because we are all amateurs 

Amateur people 

If I decided to assassinate lets say a politician who has offended me with his or her views

Would I be anything more than an amateur assassin 

Nobody is paying me 

I am assassinating the said cunt because I disagree with his or her views 

It is likely that I would be successful at least once 

Maybe twice or a number of times 

But I would be caught 

Because you are an amateur 

No because I would become careless 

Would a professional assassin fall into this trap 

Yes possibly the only difference is the money 

There are many people who in theory offend me 

Stan you are a Christian 

God would not be pleased with you 

God would understand 

God is Love 

He would understand that I was forced to assassinate a monster 

A monster in your eyes Stan 

A monster who would cause harm to those who cannot defend themselves 

He would understand 

I would be caught and told how evil I was by a judge who watches pornography in his spare time and discreetly seeks the company of whores or rent boys when nobody is looking 

That is a bleak outlook Stan 

Do you dispute my thoughts 

No I know that this does happen 

This judge has the power over me and if there was a death penalty would send me to the gallows

Instead he would tell me what a piece of shit I was and send me to prison for a long time 

I would be a hero to many 

They would admire me 

I would write books in prison explaining my thoughts and subsequent actions 

I am not an animal 

I am Love 

In time they would bore of me and I would be released 

After all I only assassinated those who had it coming 

After my release I would seek out the final resting places of those I have assassinated and stand over them 

I would not gloat as to gloat is cheap but I would whisper to them that I am love and that is why I killed you 

I am sorry that I killed you but I am Love 

Others might have agreed with their views 

They may have been buried at sea

That would fuck you up 

In many ways I agree with you Stan but you cannot be a judge a jury and an executioner 

You have a point Jane but someone has to stop the runaway train before the final station

This is not really a festive conversation Stan 

I agree 

You would never kill anyone 

Possibly 

All your assassinations and gruesome deeds occur in your poems and fictions 

Agreed 

You would not even hurt a troublesome insect 

You are Love Stan 

Are you going to complete your fiction 

I am almost there 

It would be nice to just drift around London and maybe hook up with friends 

The walk would be just an excellent excuse to watch the day pass before us 

I will be ready in ten 

You 

The same 

There I have thrown my pen into the bin 

My fiction is complete 

Stan 

Jane 

Who is the main character in this fiction 

William Wilson 

A chap named William Wilson   

Note 

Turkeys do not read or understand Ludwig Wittgenstein
Is a coffee shop in Covent Garden 
Stan and Jane have invested into this business 
They are planning to expand in 2023