Do you know what Gerald did last summer
No
He locked Judy out of their house
Wow that was daring Gerald
She was wearing only her knickers
Wow Gerald I love you
How did it happen
They were having a petty tiff
About what
Search me
I think that she had said something unpleasant about his football pals
What Judy be a one dimensional cow
How did happen
As you know they have a large garden
Well he was in the garden near the pool
She was sunbathing topless
Judy always sunbathes topless
I would sunbathe topless if we had a garden
What is wrong with our balcony
Nothing but it is too narrow and overlooks the trains
Go on
Well as I said they had had a Gerald Judy tiff
A silences and sulks
Then Gerald hatched a plan
He waited for the Richards next door to actually live in their house
And suggested to Judy that they should enjoy some rays before the as the day was warm
This they did as he knew that Judy often fell asleep in the semi shadows
What happened
She did
Did what
Fall asleep
Did the Richards arrive
Early as luck would have it
But surely she could have rushed in if she cared at all
Gerald had locked all the doors and fucked off somewhere
What did she do
Make plans to kill him painfully I would imagine
She just swam and sunbathed
The Richards
That is where Gerald sealed his fate
They had guests that day
And
I know no more
What would you do if I did that to you
Nothing
Would you loosen the balcony rail
No
I have no modesty
If means so little to me
But you once did something not so long ago that made me cry
I was at a bus stop and your idiotic prank brought tears to my eyes
I do not remember that
The dried grasses
What about the dried grasses
You remember how cross you were when I disposed of your red dried grasses
It was cruel of you Jane
I loved those grasses and often photographed them against the summer skies
Sunrises and sunsets were my favourite times
You destroyed my ideal
I was devastated
The seeds got everywhere and Cleo used to love diving into the grasses with catastrophic consequences
They had to go
You took no notice of my artistic eye
Fuck your artistic eye
I vowed to get revenge
And so you did
I always knew that you were a cunt
But what a cunt
You said that you would never buty me flowers again
And I meant it
Yet I saw you in the market a few weeks later buying a beautiful bunch of flowers
I was so happy and I felt feminine again privileged and much loved
But I found out that you had another woman in your life
A girl of tender years called Esther Ring
And you suddenly became jealous of a girl who had been in Heaven since 1834
It is not funny Stan
I almost left you
You sent me a photo of the bunch of flowers in front of Esther’s memorial
I was devastated that you loved a long dead girl more that me
Your emotions are different from the average Jane
You know that I adopt graves occasionally
My friends think you are soft in the head
It is about honour and memory
It is weird Stan
I know that you do not mean that Jane
You are on my wavelength
It was not the photo that upset me
Then what was it
It was the sight of you casually walking towards the bus stop with the bunch of flowers in your arms
They WERE for me
You cruel subtlety had broken me
I felt tears welling in my eyes
And hated you and loved you at the same time
I was hoping that the number 28 bus would swing around the corner and flatten you
What about the flowers
I wished no ill on the flowers
You spotted my liquid eyes but did not gloat
That is what saved you
What saved Gerald
Judy gave away his train set
He loved it greatly and was forced to repurchase it from the local charity shop
It cost him £100 it was a triumph for Judy
I think you thought you had won
I did not think of it that way
Do you realise that when you buy me a bunch of red dried flowers then the circle will be complete
Until then only an uneasy truce will exist
I will buy you bunches of beautiful flowers as I always have
And will leave nothing but a single bloom on Esther’s memorial once a year
On December the 17th to be exact
That is set in stone
But I will not forgive you
Stan
What
Glance out of the window
Look at the railway tracks nearest to these apartments
What do you see
The usual shit
Look closely
What do you see
I am not sure but I would think that there are two or maybe three bunches of flowers much damaged by the passing trains
They are the remains of dried flowers
I have on three occasions purchased bunches of dried flowers for you
But have on each of these occasions thrown them from the balcony for the trains to destroy as I am still fucked off with you
It was the cruellest thing that you have ever done to me
I still hate you
And I hate you
Stan
Yes
Would you go to the trash cupboard
Why
As I think Amazon have left a parcel in there although I have not ordered anything
Okay give me sec as I am writing this fiction
In your own time My Prince