By Josephine

As many of you know I love my beautiful brother

But he can be maddening really maddening

So when something bites him on the arse

Josie is a very happy girl

If Joe does have fault it is that he is very intolerant

I tell him off for this to no avail

He says that it is because he can see things

That others fail to see

Maybe he is right

But it does make me uncomfortable at times

As he is so direct

I linger

This is a short accunt of something that happened about two years ago

We were in a city in Southern England

It was a city that Joe and eye knew very well

This said in recent years it had become infested with beggars illegals and those who falsely claim to be homeless

These creatures really irritate my brother and he normally tells them to fuck off or get a job or return to the jungle

Although aggressive this was quite effective

But Joe had to take it a stage further just to show his authority

He took it on himself to pretend to be deaf which always worked without the aggression

That was until we were asked for alms by a rather attractive junkie

Joe was in the process of his theatre when the girl started signing

This took some of the wind of my brothers sails as whilst he could sign he tended to make a great number of mistakes

Shortly afterwards the junkie girl found a nearby cop (an achievement in itself)

We were stopped and PC Stupid said that my brother had been sexually offensive to the girl

(how the fuck can you be offensive to a junkie)

This confused Joe as all he thought he had signed that he was deaf found it hard to lip read as it was a cold day

The girl told PC Stupid that he had signed

I want to fuck you up your beautiful junkie arse bitch

Which was of course not true as I can sign very well

All my brother had said was that he was from Norwich and he liked garlic mushrooms when studying the genocides of history

This was a bit much much for the uneducated non Cambridge non graduate and I sensed that he was struggling

So I gave Julie Junkie a fiver towards her next/final overdose and smoothed things over

After the Chief Constable had walked away to solve yet another Love Crime I kicked my idiot brother on the shin (do not forget I am a mad girl) and demanded that I be taken to an ENGLISH restaurant that evening

The moral of this story is to understand that beauty is only on the surface and what matters is not underneath




J x