Joe how are you

Good mate

Have you seen The Brutalist

A few months ago yes

Did you like it

It was the best film since The Godfather

It was that good

Have you seen it Viola

Not yet but you know the reason why

I heard that you had found a job

Yes

Where

In HMV in Canterbury

I am so pleased for you

The manager is hot

All the better

But I know that I will leave him

I have never found romance

And I will never find love

What is the job like

So so pretty boring if you want to know the truth

But there are funny moments

Example

When you watched The Brutalist was there an intermission

Yes it was built into the movie

It was so unexpected

That said the movie was so unexpected

The movie has just come out on DVD and Blue Ray

We sold out on the first day

Every fucking architect in Canterbury wanted a slice of the action

I think I know what you are going to tell me

Then you would be right

I was just about to close when this prick came in and demanded his money back

His name was Malcolm Spencer

I asked him if his DVD was faulty

No

Then why was he troubling a tired time traveller who is going to be unlucky in love once again

Five minutes before closing time

No fucking intermission

There was no fucking intermission

There was an intermission when the film was shown in cinemas

I could not believe my ears

Of course there was an intermission in cinemas

A comfort break

Time for a piss or to get some jelly beans

Common sense

Why the fuck would you need an intermission

On the DVD in the comfort of your own home

Use the fucking pause button

But he would not have it and demanded a DVD with an intermission

I left Gill in charge whilst I popped out the back

I searched high and low

But no intermissions were to be found

Posters promotional literature buttered toast but no intermissions

I told Mr Malcolm Spencer the bad news

He demanded his money back

And told me that he was going to write a bad review online

It was then that I saw my opportunity

I was nice nice Viola and found some more details about him

A quickening was imminent and I would again lose love

I was not happy about that as hot managers

Do not grow on trees especially in Canterbury

My plan was to travel back twenty-eight years

And make friends with Malcolm’s soon to be mum

She was an unmarried mother

Who was considering a termination

You bitch Viola but I admire you

Never would this pain in the butt trouble good people

Just by existing and riding a bike

Future branches of HMV would be left totally alone

Viola what happened to the missing intermissions

Intermissions do not just disappear

I was selling them on the quiet as I had picked up a regrettable habit

Time travellers and H do not mix

Poor Viola

It all ended in tears as my love was sacked

Because of these missing intermissions

I still cry whilst I am time travelling

Poor Viola

I cried at the end of The Brutalist

I know

What possessed you Joe

It is so unlike hyper masculine you

Blackmail is a possibility

Do not worry about that Tiny Tears

I will not tell your readers

Promise