My long time girlfriend

Is an actress named Tazzle McLean

Who is known for her Shakespearean roles

During the summer she was Miranda at the National

But she is currently resting

As we are expecting our first child

She is one of three sisters who are all actresses

On Saturday we popped along to the Royal Court

To see Bazzle and Aazzle in their new play

Which like The Tempest is set on an island

It is directed by their mother Emma McLean

They spend much of the first act quite naked

Which has given Island a notoriety that it does not deserve

It is a study of isolation and has very little early dialogue

Emma just chooses to emphasise the colours and sounds

Of the supposed paradise that the sisters have invaded

Tazzle was due to have played the passing role

Of the ghost of the pirate Anne Bonny

Who escaped execution in 1720 by claiming to be pregnant

But found the role too strenuous and was replaced by Rachel Wall

In 2022 Tazzle Bazzle and Aazzle performed together in Three Sisters

And before her pregnancy Tazzle was looking at similar projects

Which have now been put on indefinite hold

Because of our very happy news