If there was a hospital in Scarborough

I was there in intensive care

Wired up to the national grid

I had collapsed without cause

An ambulance was summoned

A heart attack a stroke or just the hotel coffee

The cause was unknown

From my bed I could see Frank and Stella

Stella was weeping silently and holding Frank’s hand

It was then that I realised that the whole thing

Had been an elaborate practical joke

From that moment onwards I began to improve

They kicked me out after a couple of days

Low/High Blood pressure was the cause supposedly

I was given some violet pills and told to rest

As I am fond of practical jokes I was not angry

Indeed I suppressed a impulse to laugh

I was now staying in a very low hotel in Beverley

Not far from the Minster in an ornate room

Frank and Stella were in the adjoining room

They could do enough for me

Guilt is a wonderful word

Stella had given me a brown envelope

And had told me not to open it

Until I felt strong enough to do so

I am intrigued

It does not feel like a pornographic

Photograph of Stella

(I wish it was)

Frank is visiting

The National Railway Museum in York

Stella has suggested a meal

Just to build me up

We are in a rather nice Yorkshire cafe

Fish and chips

Do open your envelope

If you feel strong enough

(I am Superman today)

A photograph of Stella in the shower falls out

One or two odd glances from the other tables

It is accompanied by a confirmation

A confirmation of a two week holiday

For Stella and Joe at a naturist resort

In the South of France

Just Stella and Joe

In a first floor apartment

No Frank

You will get tired of my naked body

But that is just life

I might just wear a sarong

Just to bring you relief

I mumble something

Stella smiles

Let us see where we go from here

She whispers in my ear