Who is Colin Dale

How should I know

I have noticed

That ewe have been signing

Your books using that name

Is this another of your silly games

Yes and no

What do you mean

Whenever I sign a book

I always ask permission

After explaining my reasons

Bully 4 ewe

Are you going to continue this humour

For the time being

Have you anything coming out Joe

Only the Spectator essay

Which I am presenting to the T.E.Lawrence Society

It is a rehash of my college stuff

Which I wrote for the magazine

I have agreed to sign copies

For a small donation to charity

Which I will match

You are so good Joe

Perhaps you should die now and go to heaven

That is an idea

Let me get this right you are going to sign your booklets

Using the name Colin Dale

Whatever for

Josie we are identical twins

You are twelve minutes older than me

When we were born we made the local rag

Did we

Yes

Do you not remember why

Not really

Mummy has told you the story many times

That she and daddy were at some religious jolly in Hendon

When she went into labour

It was a difficult birth and pretty dramatic

Ambulances and sirens and everything else

What has that to so with your silly name

Where was this hospital

In Hendon

Wrong

How should I know

It was situated in Colindale

Mummy said it was Burnt Oak

So there clever clogs

Splitting hairs Josie

Hence the name

Colin Dale

Was it worth the wait

There is something I hate about you Joe

That being

You are so fucking arrogant

I could say things about ewe

Fuck off

Josie before ewe say sorry and make a cup of tea

There is another connection

And if you can tell me what it is

Then I will take you both out for a meal

I am not playing your silly games

Please yourself Josie

But you will miss out on a nice meal

Have you a copy of your silly essay

Do you want me to sign it

Do not push your luck Joe

Do not push your luck