I must say Gracie that you are the most beautiful girl
That I have ever seen
I am on the rag Graham
Is that why you are wearing black
Yes that is so sweet of you to notice
Have you ever shit your pants
Yes
When
Normally when I have eaten wog food by mistake
Do you mean that the Alsatian was not completely dead
Spot on Gracie
No it is real Graham
I get hundreds when I am on especially between my legs
Does it smell
That is for you to find out when we get married
But I thought you would be my friend with benefits
I am your friend and yes I am on benefits
Like all the other lazy cunts
Gracie back to the Alsatian dogs
Is that why the take away’s
Have so many guard dogs
Well they were not fucking them
Maybe they were and then
Taking them out for walkies
Is that why you see dogs dragging
Their bums on rough surfaces
That is because they have crabs
I have seen this happening in large cities
Far from the sea
Do you mean Birmingham
That is far from the sea
Where are these poor creatures infected
Normally in Iceland I believe
Enough I am more of a cat person myself
Are you a dyke Gracie
I like dykes and all types of irrigation systems
Have you made any porn
Yes
Girl to girl
No war to war
Political Gracie
Have I offended you Graham
No far from it
War is Kind
It cleans out cluttered rooms
I have a treat for you
I have a nut allergy
Shit happens
I wish that was all that happened
Are you allergic to anything else
Blacks Faggots Chicks with Dicks Fat Ugly Women Coloured Pencils
The usual suspects
Strangely I am not allergic
To anything else
Do you hate everything
Not in the least
I have a goldfish named everything
I love my goldfish dearly
Even though it is dead in the freezer
Did it jump out of its bowl into the frozen wastes
No I put it there after my cat drowned
Suicide
No Snowy was white
Are you are going to give me your rag Gracie
Later you naughty boy
Then what
When I say turn around
Turn around
Is that beautiful waitress giving me an upskirt again
No panties
You noticed
Yes
It is always the quiet ones
Are you a quiet one Gracie
Not in the least
It depends on which hole you are using
Turn around
The waitress has fucked off
She is having a dump
Here are her soiled panties
An elephantine dump I would imagine
Judging on the shit they serve here
There it is
Wow thank you Gracie
An express train with a suicide trapped under the wheels
Suicide
Not just any suicide
But one of an immigrant who was unable to adapt to the way of life in this our green and pleasant land
All my fantasies have come true
Apart from you face sitting me
I am looking forward to visiting the Red Sea
It decided to jump under the Western Express
Yes Yes Yes
Wow Oh Wow
I think I have soiled my thong
You wear a thong
No grubby Y Fronts
But a lacy thong sounds better
It brings in more punters
Are you a sex worker Graham
No I just lay on my back and look moody
Where have you been all my life Clive
Graham
Clive is my brother
In prison
What did you do
I killed a filthy homosexual
That was a beastly thing to do
The second judge said that
What happened to the first judge
Think about it
It It It It It
Were you attacked
No I just do not like them
Rather like bus conductors
Have you ever murdered any bus conductors
Yes on routes 6 28 & 496
I was looking to kill the bus conductor on route 69
But it went driver only last year
Except on Sundays and Bank Holidays
Bad luck
Have you ever been in prison Gracie
Yes
What did you do
I sliced the dick off of a middle aged pervert on an inward bound trip
In Wales
No out in the countryside
I then served it to my fellow hikers
Over the campfire later in the evening
How long did you get
About three inches as he was diseased
No I meant in prison
Life behind bars
What about your drink problem Gracie
I agree
Why was the sentence so savage
Sentence is not a savage word Graham
It is really a rather boring word like shopfront
I served his cock without gravy
Gracie how wicked
What a bitch you are
And I pissed in the HP Sauce
Gracie I think I love you
Do you love me
No I do not fancy orientals
Do you love your little Graham
No I think you are a thick cunt
I am not thick Gracie
Then you are just a cunt
That is good enough for me
This is going to be the start of a beautiful fuck ship
Drink
Please
Is your water still strong
Pure acid
I cannot wait
Silly Boy is Dead Again (2020)