Hi Samantha

I trust you are well

We have just seen Sephine off

So it is only Joe and Josie

I do hope that Sephine’s mum will be okay

It seems that she caught one of those exotic imported diseases

Which are so uncomfortable and so fucking preventable

Poor Sephine Poor Amanda Poor Robert

On a lighter note Josie went to the local sauna last week

It was the one in the local leisure centre

I should have been aware what was coming

With all the gender neutral bogs and a huge receptionist named Lucy

As you are aware when we have taken saunas together

We are always totally naked

That is the only and the proper way to enjoy a sauna

So yours truly sat quite naked on the upper bench

I was soon joined by a couple of fat girls dressed in towels

They said very little as if rather shocked at skinny Josie

And then the most enormous black woman crashed in and stared at me

Jealousy will get you nowhere my dear I thought to myself

And then she left the cabin and the light soon returned

I lay back and closed my eyes

But that did not last long as the receptionist Lucy

Popped into the sauna and said that I was breaking the rules

What fucking rules

Nudity was not allowed in these council run saunas

WHAT !!!!!

It was then that I noticed that six foot Lucy

Had an an Adam’s Apple

That and it was staring at my and my tits and cunt

As you can imagine I was very offended and after a shower

I insisted on seeing the manager of the leisure centre

Like me she was a Bitch on Heat which made things worse

It was explained to me that some fat people

Suffered with a low body confidence

And they were uncomfortable with nudity

I pointed out that the whole idea was to let your skin breathe

As they do in Sweden Denmark and Finland

She did not really answer my question as you can imagine

I then asked why a chick with a dick had been in the girly area

It was because it identified as a woman and the council respected this

This made me so fucking angry as it always ends in tears

Joe is going to tear the council to pieces as he is good at that

He considers people like Lucy mentally ill and therefore dangerous

The other was just a short sighted rule favouring the fat ones

It said it all that the fat white girls did not say anything

Whist – need I say more Sam – a chip on her massive shoulder – maybe

Do you remember the sauna when we were at Cambridge

I still remember it fondly as there were no hard and fast rules

Just common sense ones such as couples only and single women

No men were permitted to enter unless with a proper woman

This stopped all the perverts and homosexual men spoiling things

It was just a nice balance even when Joe and Josie popped in

Do you remember the odd looks we got

We were and still are identical and to this day this confuses

It was sad when the sauna closed down

But the road widening was always going to happen

A piece of Cambridge vanished when those buildings were lost

Although I have a decent skin it does get grubby deep down

That is one of the penalties of living in a city

I am certainly not going back to the leisure centre

Even if Joe solicits a sincere apology

I have looked at other saunas

But there is something about them

Even in this lovely area

Are there any decent ones where you live Sam

What a pointless letter this is

With all the shit going on around the world

And I worry about saunas and the svelte Josie

How shallow I am

A mad girl as Joe calls me

It is just that so much makes me cross

I am supposed to the calm one like Sephine

But I am the equal of Joe with my volatility

Maybe I do not pick fights as he does

But the anger is very much there

Joe understands his anger and uses it as a weapon

But Josie does not understand Josie at times

That is it enough of Josie feeling sorry for herself

Please do come down it would be lovely to see ewe

Richmond is so lovely

As the days grow longer and warmer

This said I will be seeing Mummy next month

Do not be a stranger it would be lovely to c ewe



Love Josie xxx