Why are you a dunce Silly Boy
Discuss
Dunce the term was derived from the 13th-century Scottish philosopher John Duns Scotus
His later followers (Cambridge Students) resisted the new Renaissance learning
Causing 16th-century critics to use his name as an insult for a foolish people
Or for people who come from Preston and its surrounding towns
This practice has continued to the present day
This led to the old school practice of making a Cambridge Student
Wear a cone-shaped dunce cap
As a form of public shaming
I hated your essay Silly Boy
Thank you Sir
I have given you a Z Minus
I am so happy Mr Lecturer
Silly Boy does your thickness not worry you
You are by far the thickest undergraduate at Cambridge
What is it like to be so thick
I look on it as a privilege a real privilege Sir
Explain yourself child
I am forty-three on my next birthday
Your personal details indicate that you are twenty-seven
All pop stars die at twenty-seven Sir
Therefore even though I have had some hit records
I am only nineteen and am unlikely to die at twenty-seven
Your point Silly Boy
No Sir I always cross my legs like this
Please continue
When people call me thick I take it as a great compliment
As brick walls are often thick
Yet they are valued for their stability and strength
In all my years at Oxford
Cambridge Sir
In all my years at Cambridge
I have never received such a logical answer
Your Sir deserve to share breakfast with Wittgenstein
But he is now sadly dead Sir
God does your brain know no limits Silly Boy
Are you slightly in love with me Sir
Yes Silly Boy are you x
No Sir far from it
But may I have the great philosophers breakfast
As he has no need for it now
It might be a trifle stale and cold Silly Boy
As he passed away seventy-five years ago
That is of no consequence Sir
As I often eat in Greggs
Will you marry me Silly Boy
Perhaps but I would rather live in Sin
I have a terraced house in Eye
That is quite near Sin
Would you settle for That
No I am quite happy
With your little house in Eye