One day when I was very young

I spent a week thinking about God

I hardly ate and did not wash

I wore only filthy rags

Many close to me thought I was going mad again

Joe knows that I am not mad

It is just that I see things very clearly

You stare into the abyss

In certain ways yes

I was reading a novel that suggested that God

Had grown tired of the corruption of his children

And had decided to punish the guilty ones

When AIDS swamped the world who suffered the most

Homosexuals Junkies Blacks and the general White Trash

This list as you can see is far from complete

These are just the headliners

Even when the infection was at its height people just carried on

It was like walking along a railroad track between trains

Although I was not totally convinced at first

This idea had a good deal of mileage

People who had strayed from God and were being punished

I try to be a good person and avoid temptation

But I fail

It is not because I am a sinner

We all are

It is because I misunderstood mathematics

Mathematics can be used to model and solve problems in science engineering technology economics and in everyday life

Everyday life

I thought you would spot that

What is everyday life

Is it catching a bus to the shops

Or dusting all of Joe’s many books

AI suggests the following

Everyday life is a concrete idea made up of tangible experiences

Though the concept of everyday life is an abstract idea

I cannot say that I fully agree with that

As God is not an abstract

Far from it

Like many I feel God everyday

I do not question God

I question everything but God

During my mad days

I thought that I would be locked up

In a house full of mad people like myself

But knew that I was miles away

From any kind of madness

As I noted before

Joe knew exactly what I was going through

He was always there to look after me

Forgive me for prying but did you not repeat this savage journey

Yes two or three years ago in France and Italy

Did Joe have to come and fetch you

That is correct

Was it about God

In certain ways yes

But it was more about me

I had become close to God

But in the process had lost myself

I become wanton and excessive

Sometimes in very ugly ways

But the important people loved me

Including God

God is obviously not a person

Important yes

I was loved yes

But God is not a person

Did God withdraw you from your madness

I was never mad

Far from it

I was just travelling without a rudder