My friend and I were sitting in a café in Lagos next to a middle aged couple from the Ukraine

At first we politely ignored each other and then the man asked if we would take a photograph of them

He spoke good English as he had lived in the USA for a while before he married his Russian wife

Both had retired a few months previously and were visiting Portugal as they thought that they might not be able to afford it in later years

The man was a driving instructor and his wife had been a lace maker

Although the same age as us the couple looked much older

This was the result of  excessive smoking

They were both worried at the situation in the Ukraine and the woman wept a little when she told us of her siblings in Mother Russia that she could not visit

Her cousin had attended their retirement party but had encountered difficulties whilst travelling

They feared for the future

I introduced myself as the owl and my friend as the melodic nightingale

We had been accompanied by our great friend Nicholas of Guildford until recently but he had had to return to his Dorset home on family business

The nightingale and I had visited Lisbon and then had headed south to relax for a few days in Lagos

Although devoted companions we argued constantly as she felt that I was ugly and lazy in my habits whereas I considered that she was out of touch with the everyday world and was content to sit on blossom covered branches

She was also prone to mocking my night screeches which she equated as being full of vices and hatred

I told her that her songs were repetitive and tedious

She replied that her songs were full of joy and reflected all the beauty in the world

The man from the Ukraine asked me why nightingales only sang in the summer

I told him that my companion was a lightweight and her songs of summer only encouraged promiscuous behaviour during the softer months

Also that singing was her only talent

The nightingale mocked my skills by telling the couple that I was a mere rat catcher in draughty churches as was treated behind my back as a simpleton might be

She said that her usefulness in churches far outweighed my own as she often sang during services and reminded the churchgoers about the glories of Heaven

Her voice encouraged them to be more devout which in the eyes of God was not a bad thing

I often teased her on this point I told the couple as they finished their coffee

Without thinking I had ordered coffee for each of us plus a selection of small decorated cakes

 

Turning to the nightingale I noted that before one entered the Kingdom of Heaven that one had to repent all and that her haunting songs might cause consideration

She agreed to a point saying that it was in the nature of the woman to be frail and that the sins of maidenhood were taken advantage of by men

The coffees arrived and we selected our cakes and sipped our hot coffee

 

The Ukrainian man offered me a cigarette

 

He explained that although he had given up smoking because of health concerns he always carried a packet around with him for social reasons

 

I declined noting that I had never smoked as I had been diagnosed with mild asthma during my childhood years

 

The nightingale also stated that the sins of maidenhood would be forgiven in marriage

I reminded my companion that she had never married so in theory she was full of sin and unfit to enter The Kingdom of Heaven

The nightingale shot me a glance of pure hatred which was not noticed by our guests

 

I knew that her next shot would be low and so it was

She told me that owls are better off dead as farmers can use their corpses as scarecrows

This played into my hands as I thought it might

I agreed noting that my species still helped men even after death whereas a nightingale’s songs often faded in old age and beyond

Tears began to form unnoticed in the nightingale’s eyes and I thought that we might quarrel as I had cemented my move

It was then that a wren landed on a parasol near us and asked why we were challenging each other once again especially in the presence of the couple from the Ukraine whose troubles were far greater than ours

She said that we should enjoy the company of the afternoon and any quarrels that we had with each other should be left until Nicholas of Guildford returned

What possible advantage would be achieved in continuing our argument

Nicholas of Guildford was a wise judge of birds and by his own admission had wasted his youth

But in maturity he was wise and that was why he often travelled with us

The wren then departed as the sun was hot and the bird was thirsty for the shadows

I knew that I had a phenomenal memory and that I would be able to remember the whole of my argument for future debate but decided not to articulate this point as I could see that the nightingale was still cross with me

We descended into small talk with the couple and the man expressed a great admiration for our host country

Even though we were sitting in a pleasant café in Lagos and the day was hot and agreeable he felt that Portugal had little tragedy in it whereas the Ukraine and to some extent Mother Russia was full of tragedy

I said that Portugal had experienced tragedy and maybe would experience further tragedy and that we were fooling ourselves

He conceded my point and noted that his biggest fear was that of being a refugee in old age and being stateless and always on the move

He was from Kiev and his wife was from Moscow

Two powerful cities

They had met in the USA during a cultural exchange

He had been her driver and they had fallen for each other and after a number of difficulties had married and although the union had been childless it had been happy

That is what made the situation in the Ukraine so painful

The nightingale who by this time had forgotten our discussion had asked the woman about her lace making skills and they were engrossed in a deep conversation

A small book lay on the table in front of the man and he pushed it in my direction

It was his Bible he told me and he had carried it with him on each of his working days

I could not read the language but guessed that it was a driving instructor’s manual

The man asked whether I would enter my electronic address and that of  my companion within its pages so that if it was agreeable we could keep in contact

He said that it would make him very happy

In return he handed me his now defunct business card which although of no further use still contained his personal details

A short while later the couple left us and vanished into a side street

The nightingale looked at me

Our debate was by no means at its conclusion

The wren has mediated at a moment of crisis

I may have won a battle but the war was far from over

We then flew up into a nearby tower to await the return of Nicholas of Guildford