Beneath this dour town

Lies the dour earth

Generations of my ancestors

Rest there

But I have escaped

Your father said this to me as we travelled south

Towards the valley where we now live

But you will want to return as you always do the moment you pass through our gate

You will talk of your childhood days and how you met your wife at the dance hall near the railway station

A week later I will drive you back and you will hug the house at the end of your street

You will curse your escape and ask me to ignore any of your letters

We will sit in your front parlour and drink tea and you will tell me of the day that you travelled to London to see the coronation and how wet the day was

But you would not have missed it for the world

I do not suppose that you have decorated this parlour since 1953 I joke

It serves me well you reply

And Elsie did not like change

As I drive back I know that within a month a letter will arrive asking me to rescue you again

It is not the town I know all these damned foreigners what do they know or care about its history

Preston was a fine town when I was growing up and people respected each other

These days you die in your home and nobody would find you

You know I was visiting Elsie’s grave the other day and there were yobs getting drunk and worse

No respect for themselves

No respect for themselves

You ask us to rescue you and sell the house

Rescue me away from this dour town

Elsie will understand as she is in a better place now

I ignore your letters but do not destroy them and within weeks your daughter instructs me to collect you once more and bring you to our home in the valley

Somerset is such an agreeable country I say as we drive south

Things do not change

It is a county of poets

There are not many poets in Preston you say

No inspiration it is dead on its feet

I sometimes wish that while I was with you that my house would burn down and I would be stuck here with you and my daughter and your children  

But what about your history?

My history died when Elsie died if I had not been so tired I would have taken the lot to the tip but it was beyond me

It was only because of her busybody sister that her clothes are no longer there 

Give em to a charity shop she says let other folk make good of them

She bullied me and still does

I will be glad if I do not see the motorway services again

Where are all the English people gone?

I just do not understand them

I just wanted a cheese roll

My memories are behind my eyes you know they are safe nobody can touch them and when I go they will go with me

Rachel has her Preston memories so do Richard and Paul

Your children will have Somerset memories and good luck to them as I do not think your valley will be spoilt

He sleeps as he always does for the remainder of the journey and wakes up just before Porlock Hill

We stop at a café and have a cup of tea

Only a few miles to go

A comfort break you call it

Tea on the motorway is gnats piss always has been always will be

A man and his wife draw up in a red sports car

He takes his time parking

Just showing off showing folk he has money I bet that lass is only half his age

Not one of your neighbours I hope

No I have never seen him before

They would not last five minutes in Preston ponce’s like him and that car well enough said

We continue our journey and within the hour are in the valley

The children are waiting at the front gate and you are standing in the doorway

Your father lifts them both up and kisses their rosy cheeks

Hello dad back again do stay a bit longer this time Preston can do without you for a few weeks you know and I know that mum would understand

I wish my Elsie had lived long enough to see your kids they remind me so much of you

My wife smiles but does not reply

That evening we walk into the village I tell him about the areas literary connections but he does not really listen

He plays of version of Pooh Sticks with Adam and Paul in the village stream but the current is not that strong so no records are broken

You have a nice life here the pace is so slow

Preston used to have a slow pace of life not as slow as this but sedate everybody knew everybody else and the kids all dreamed of playing for North End

But it all changed

Weak leadership people on the take the whole place just rotted before your eyes

I sometimes wonder if Jerry had won would it have been different

Well places like this would not have existed you know

Rachel did not often disagree with her father but occasionally she did

Explain yourself girl

If the Germans had won then the Englishness of a place like this would not have existed as it does today

No I disagree the Germans and the English have many similarities you know

Name one

They were races born to rule look at our empire we ruled half the world before the cowards lost it for us

The country was bankrupted by the war you should know you fought in in it

I seriously thought about becoming a conchie you know but all my pals were going to war and I had to support them

But during my time out there I had serious doubts

Did you shoot any German’s granddad?

Cooks don’t shoot German’s maybe poison them with my food but I was never near enough to see them shooting at me

I met a number of POWs and decent chaps they were they just wanted to go home but the difference was that they did not have a home to go to whereas I did

8 Mackie Street would still be there when I returned

The conversation ended and my wife retired from the benches to play with our children who had found a lost football

Are you happy son?

Yes I think I am

I was happy with Elsie and Rachel and the others but I am not happy now

Why?

If I knew the answer I would work it out

That is the reason I am a nuisance to you

You are no nuisance

I am I can see it on my daughters face every time I arrive

She loves you coming down

But she does not understand me

You know the reason why I hug houses when I return?

No I thought it was just a jest

It goes back to the war when I was called up I was shitting myself I did not want to die and deep down I was sympathetic to Jerry

As soon I decided to go I just wanted to do my bit and come home to my Elsie and that is what happened I never fired a shot in anger

And one day I was back in Preston ordinary Preston and I so loved that moment that I hugged and kissed the first building I saw

My pals thought me mad a bit soft in the head but I knew better

Preston had not betrayed me

My Elsie was still there working in the tobacconists shop nothing had really changed and I thought that this world would go on forever

Things change you know Peter even this village

Fifty or so years ago most people living here would have been born in the village or nearby

The village is now full of outsiders like us things do change you know

But you have not destroyed anything things are not going to rack and ruin as they are in Preston

The house prices have pushed out the locals and there is a little resentment because of that

From what I see you are accepted

Well we have been here for twelve years and both the boys were born here I think I am accepted as a local but we also do harm with our financial independence

You came from money didn’t you?

To some extent yes

What do you really think of Preston do you think I should sell up and move down here?

I agree with you I think Preston is a dying town but I do not have anything to benchmark it against only Rachel’s memories

I was brought up in Sussex you know

Rachel told me

I do think that you should move down you are quite fit and there is so much to do around here

You know what bothers me the most about Somerset?

What?

The peace

The peace?

It is so quiet I cannot get used to that there is no din as there is in Preston

Even the sky is black

That is why we moved here somewhere nice for the children to grow up with lots of space but I assure you that if you want noise then we have the places for you such as Yeovil and Taunton

They are not Preston but have their moments

I really have a choice to fade slowly and die in our house and to be buried next to my Elsie or to take the bull by the horns and move down here

Rachel has done it without much regret

But she was younger Preston did not really get under her skin

She was born there and went to school there

And went to a university where she met you it was the best thing that ever happened to her

Thank you it was the best thing that ever happened to me

Let stop it now as we are acting like a couple of old queens

I agree

A week later his demons returned and on the Saturday following I was driving to Preston

However on this occasion we were delayed as there had been an accident on the motorway

It was late and I was invited to stay as the journey had been tiring

I stayed in Rachel’s old room which still contained memorabilia from her childhood

Dolls hid on the top on wardrobe and under the bed there was a poster of David Cassidy which I believe just fell from the wall

Her father told me to take them with me but I refused as I felt that my wife should still have connections with her childhood

There was a street light outside of her bedroom window and I remember her telling me stories of the moths that used to fly around it

There were no moths there when I stayed as the air was cold and a wind was brushing down the street

Occasionally a car roared past the house and braked hard as it turned on to the main road

Bloody kids if only the German’s had won the war

Rachel’s father stayed up watching television until the early hours

He did not require as much rest I thought as I drifted into sleep

Next day we went to the churchyard where Rachel’s mother was buried

It was a large Victorian churchyard much used and a good number of the gravestones showed dates from the Victorian era

Once is had been looked after but although some attention had been paid to its upkeep it was a mess with some of the older graves sinking into what Peter called the dour earth

What bothered me though was the recent decay

Bottles littered the area and a couple of the gravestones had been defaced

Rest in pieces Zombie Boys rule had been daubed on to the headstone of a certain Arthur Waite

I went to school with his son nice chap died on TB in the fifties you know

I thought that the churchyard would by now be closed as it had been accepting the dead for over one hundred and fifty years but is was still accepting the dead of the town

Julia Mayes (1934-2014)

Peter Percy Stokes (1921-2015)

Were just two of the names that sprung out at me as we approached Elsie’s grave

Her white marble headstone was beginning to reflect the dampness of the area but Peter had looked after the grave

They steal the flowers you know and bold as brass try to sell them on

The police are not interested they do not want to upset them

Peter removed the withered flowers from his late wife’s grave and replaced them with a bunch we had brought up from Somerset

A special treat Elsie all the way from our Rachel’s new home

Do you want me to leave you alone I can sit on that bench if you want to be alone?

No lad she liked you a lot her Rachel had married a posh boy it made her so happy

I am glad I have only happy memories of Elsie

I see a lot of her in our Rachel the quietness of her manner sometimes they would sit next to each other without speaking but I knew they were deep in conversation

They had an understanding

Peter looked at the gravestone and brushed some of the natural debris that had accumulated

As he did that I kicked a used hypodermic into a nearby drain before he saw it although he must have come across many himself

She only had one vice you know and that is what killed her

I nagged her for years but to no avail

She continued to smoke and smoke

And in the end it finished her off

I am glad that Rachel does not smoke as I find the habit appalling

Would you stop her if she did?

We would discuss it

That is what I love about you youngsters you discuss everything

We share

I actually banned Elsie from smoking in the house but she lit up whenever I was not looking

I grew tired of telling her and finally gave up

That was my biggest mistake

There was a space under the his wife’s dates that lay blank and was obviously intended for future use

This is where I will lie when I go nowhere else they should start putting my dates in now

You are fit as a fiddle

Not for much longer I would imagine

You handle the boys without any sign of fatigue where Rachel and I are exhausted at the end of the day

As we stood by the grave a group of teenagers passed us

They did not say or do anything but I felt the old man’s hackles rise

If only the German’s had won

Instead of going back to house we had a coffee at a chain café in the centre of the town

Peter sat quietly watching people

I will be on my way in an hour if that is suitable to you

The old man did not answer immediately

Promise me one thing will you

Tell me

If I move down to Somerset with you would you when the time comes bring my ashes back and bury them next to Elsie’s

Of course we will

The earth may be dour but it is the earth that has supported Preston people for centuries

I am a Preston man and Elsie was a Preston girl

She lies in the Preston soil and I know that she would not mind me spending my remaining years somewhere else as long as I join her in eternity

The decision when it was made was as easy as that and within six months Rachel’s father had joined us in the West Country

He often related stories of the grimy north to those who would listen in the pub and taught the boys to play dominoes

His demons remained unseen although I knew he kept a diary which I vowed never to read

Even after his death

These were his private thoughts

The Preston Marginal