My first association with my hermaphrodite friend

Was in a shell hole during the dark days of war

I had dived into a water sodden pit to avoid the guns

And found myself on top of a number of mutilated corpses

It was then that I noticed that the corpse nearest to me

Was displaying a female breast although the soldier was male

 

Shortly after this I left the hole and returned to my trench

Although I had been slightly wounded at least I was alive

I was soon sent to the medical station and was seen by a doctor

He dressed my painful but minor wound and left me alone for a while

As I waited for his return I glanced into a covered station

And saw the shell hole corpse very much alive and receiving treatment

He was totally naked and had both a pair of breasts and a penis

 

I asked the doctor about this when he returned and was told

That I should not tell anyone about what I had seen

As a great number of the higher ranks were known hermaphrodites

And this was a fact that had not been revealed to the soldiers in the field

This disturbed me a great deal as I respected the ranks and did not consider their gender

I then decided to change into a large black spider

And spent the remainder of my war in a Belgium barn

 

After the war I set myself up as an art dealer in the Old Kent Road

And was in the process of setting up an exhibition of tractors

When my hermaphrodite friend walked in with his agent

He was selling tractor etchings but did not recognise me

I knew that it was him as he had retained his wartime scars

We agreed a price and I added his tractor etchings to the exhibition

I saw him one again in 1934 and then for the last time in 1936

 

In the summer of 1960 I sold my business and retired

To the Weald of Kent where I purchased an ancient farmhouse

And in time changed into a large black spider once again

I remain there to this day behind the electrical junction box