I wonder if I am actually recording
The Centre of the Known Universe
You are photographing trains Stan
Yoo often photograph trains
You have spelt you incorrectly Jane
This is what I hate about yoo
You have have spelt itt incorrectly Jane
Spelling is not a strong point of yours
I know how to spell cunt Stan
Why do you dislike me photographing trains
After all we live next to the railway
You are a bore Stan
Trains trains and more fucking trains
It does my head in Stan
You are missing the point Jane
I am recording
The Centre of the Known Universe
You are recording your own madness
Why did you photograph the breakfast table this morning
Because you were naked Jane
I always eat breakfast in the nude
It is more comfortable
In January
When you sleep it is known that you wake up stiff and cold
I know but I am never cold
Grow up Stan
Well it is like a flower I stretch and embrace the day
And then I break my fast
You just see the sexual side of it
But breakfast is a spiritual time for me
The same can be said of my train photographs
But you just bad mouth me
You are very predictable Stan
I can imagine that when I read this fiction
It will contain the same old slights
You will ensure that I am naked throughout
Just for your own pleasure
Sometimes I hate men
Are you turning into a dyke Jane
You would like that so much
I suppose if I think about it that would be nice
Just think I return home tired after a day
And find you in bed with one of your more than attractive friends
I would settle down to watch rather like a hors d’oeuvre
With the thoughts of joining in later
Bullshit you would come in and moan about everything
Then ask for dinner and watch football
That is you all over Stan
I think that this is going to be a Hate Saturday Jane
Get your knickers on and I will treat you to something in town
You see you are so predictable
You note the centre of the universe
Whereas you do not even know the centre of yourself
Stan
Are you hurt
Yes
Really hurt
Yes
So it is not a West End store for my perfume
What perfume
The perfume you are going to buy me
The perfumes you choose would settle a third world debt
Take it or leave it
Just like my train photographs Jane
Hate everything else I do
Hate this fiction
I hate all your fictions Stan
They are so self indulgent
I know
Stan
Yes
How do we end a tiff
A Stan and Jane tiff
You stand in front of me completely naked
And I kiss your golden triangle
Then what are you waiting for Stan
And I warn you that if a train passes
And you ignore me
Then you will join its passage
And I will not open the balcony doors