The title is a misleading

As I was not in Leamington Spa

I was in Bath Spa

I was going to Royal Leamington Spa

As my aunt had broken her leg whilst hiking

But I had been detained in Bath

By my second cousin

Who had also broken his leg whilst hiking

Were you staying in a hotel

Yes a rather nice

What you see is what you get place

Near to the railway station and the river

Not to mention the lovely canal

I think I know where it is

Is it about ten minutes from a Victorian bridge

Yes

The previous bridge collapsed in 1877

The Halfpenny Bridge Disaster

Spot on

Ten poor people died

It was almost forgotten for many years

Joe

Tell Peter about your trick to get rid of beggars

Outside of telling them to fuck off or go back to their own countries

Josie you are making me sound like a piece of shit

You are as you cannot stand beggars drunks junkies or any of the other creatures

That spoil your enjoyment of the City of the Caesars

Why should they be there spoiling things for others

It just irritates me

Tell Peter what you do

I pretend to be deaf

Not totally deaf just ear infection deaf

As I do not understand sign language

And cannot read lips

You can read mine

Not nice Josie

But true

I am sure that Peter does not want to hear that

Gabby shaves as well

It is much cleaner and I do feel different down there

More sensitive

Josie enough

The story Joe

We arrived at lunch time yesterday

But could not book in straight away

So we decided to wander into the town

City Joe Bath is a city

Playful day mood today is it sis

Getting you back mood Joe

I take it ewe used the bridge

Yes but Josie ran on ahead as she wanted to get some cream from Boots

It was Thrush cream Peter

Too much information Josie

We used the bridge and as my sister was disappearing under the arches

I saw a chap sitting on the station side begging

I tried to ignore him but he spoke to me

So I went through my deaf but not seriously deaf routine

It was then that he revealed a piece of card noting that he was an ex serviceman

I still pretended to be deaf but saw that he was also deaf

How did you realise that

He had some kind of certificate noting his disability

I gave him a tenner without revealing my theatre

He was very pleased and looked up at the sky in thanks

And that was that

He stayed on the bridge and I walked into town cursing my luck

City

Be quiet Josie

When I heard about this incident I found it very amusing and purchased a book

What was the book

The Collected Poems of John Betjeman

That was the least I could do as it contains the poem

Death in Leamington Spa

That is where you are wrong Josie

Sorry

The poem is called

Death in Leamington

Mr knowitalltodayrwe

Stop squabbling you two

Was the cream any good Josie

As I might pop in and get Gabby some

Yes very much

But I would mix it with yoghurt if I was ewe



Joe & Josie