There is a period 

Between Christmas 

And the New Year 

That were known locally 

As the Daft Days 

You would do daft things 

Like walking through 

Railway tunnels at night 

Or wearing your mums knickers 

When you went to church 

I had always wondered 

Why these days 

Were called Daft Days 

Before I realised 

That my uncles were named 

David Andrew Fred and Tom 

I might have been killed or arrested

Because of my stupidity 

To this day I have never let on 

That I had been the victim 

Of Borders Humour