My then girlfriend was less than subtle

When telling people about my love for hamsters

In certain peoples eyes I was a bit of a joke

She did not really know the damage she was doing

Did you get your own back Stephen

I did I did I did I did I did I did I did I did

What did you do

I did I did I did I did I did I did I did I did

I worked to my strengths as I am a talented artist

Emma worked at Bloom’s Solicitors

Which is right next to bus stops L M & S

The buses in our fair town were famous

Because they were so rarely cleaned

I decided to use this dust to my advantage

And added a likeness of Emma

Taken from a recent life drawing

To the blind side of the bus the bus

The idea was that the bus would park in front of Bloom’s

And that Emma would be seen in all her naked glory

During the ten minutes before departure

No detail was spared not even her birthmark

That evening when I returned from work

I found two hamster cages and met Cranly and Lynch

But my happiness was short-lived

As I received a hefty slap for all my troubles

Two hamsters now had a new home

And I was left with a bloody nose


Silly Boy & Emma