Happiness


Joe when I broke up with Mary-Lou

I had a great desire to fuck Josie

A lot of people have said that to me

I can remember visiting your place in Richmond

And looking at the nude photographs of Josie

Lonely in their frames in different rooms

Whose idea was it to do this

Josie thought it would be fun

Did she ask you

Why would she

I just came back one day and there they were

Josie is very much a one off

I agree

What does your mother think

Mummy thought it was a lovely idea

She has a couple in her cottage

Josie is very beautiful

Josie is so lovely

I lusted after her from the day I first met her

That is perfectly natural

Also and this is very cheap

The thought of her with other women

Is just beyond happiness

Life without barriers is more ordered

The funny thing is that one is more disciplined

For some it is an excuse to fuck anything that moves

I felt that after Mary-Lou left me

But I did not fall into the trap

If anything I blamed myself and hid away

Are you walking with anybody now

In a way yes

Do I know her

That is unlikely unless you are into accountants

So you met somebody at work

In a way yes

What is her name

Freddie or rather Freddie

Is she English

From Northampton

Do you realise that accountants move around

She was employed to troubleshoot and visited London quite frequently

But Freddie had a bad experience as she was followed around by a black who made crude suggestions to her

It was only by pure luck that a cop was passing

What is a cop Joe

Dunno mate

This frightened her although nothing really happened

And that is where I come in as Gerry asked me to look after her the next time she was in town

Wine and dine on the company tab

Sort of

More like Spoons out of my own pocket

Like Josie Freddie is very attractive but this does attract the blacks and other low life creatures

We talked shop and became friends

I got to know her much better

How much better

Enough to know that she was raped when she was twenty-two

By a black

She did not say but I suspect it was

It had left deep scars

She was nervous of men

Including the decent ones

Even though I considered myself used goods she said that I was very gentle

There were no expectations on my side although I was aching

She was very comfortable with me and agreed that our friendship was very important

I was happy with that

At first even kisses were off the menu

Did that frustrate you

No I just kissed my reflection

Joe what is happiness

It is not easily defined

You do not just find happiness

About a week ago Freddie and I decided to visit a beach in Sussex as she wanted to paddle and taste the sea air

We also took a picnic and found a lonely dune

I read some poetry to her

She then asked me out of the blue if I would like to see her breasts

Not to touch them but just to look at them

It was an incredibly tender moment

What happened

I sat there looking at her lovely breasts

There was a comfort in her eyes

And

Nothing

She put her shirt back on and kissed me on my cheek

As if the moment had never happened

I knew then that I had experienced a happiness

Not just because she had shown me her breasts

But because she had trusted me after all the pain

Fast forward a day

I had seen Freddie off on the Northampton train

And had returned to two twenty-two

Which still contained the ghosts of Mary-Lou

Always the poet

I was already missing Freddie

But knew that I had to be aware of my road

I had to drive slowly and carefully

My television was on in the background

When a newsflash came up

It was reported that nearly fifty illegals had drowned at sea

I hate to say it but this news made me very happy

We have similar views Ronnie

When I heard about it I did not shed any tears

It is all part of the decay I found it very hard to equate my Freddie happiness with the emotions I was experiencing because of the horrible news

I was happy because these filthy invaders had been taught the ultimate lesson

They would not be able to contribute to the decay

Were you worried what Freddie might think of you

Very much

I felt ashamed of myself

There is no need to be ashamed

It is nothing to do with you

Just embrace your happiness

It is unlikely that you will change

Just lock these in a box

And hide the key

Let Freddie see the light

It does work my friend

Even I am good at it