Time – Present
Location – Richmond
Characters
Joe (a poet)
Josie (sister of Joe)
Sephine (Joe’s girlfriend)
Cora (sister of Elena)
Elena (sister of Cora)
Joe – Lets all play Charades
Josie – I would rather eat head
Joe – I am told that you are rather good at that
Joe – I have written clues on these coloured cards
Josie – Your writing is awful Joe
Joe – Are you on again sis as you are very aggressive like small fat women on hot days
Josie – I am heavy with child
Cora/Elena – How thrilling
Joe – Who is it this time
Josie looks at all present in the room
Joe – With the exception of me there are only girls in this room
Joe – Girls cannot make other girls preggers
Sephine – I love charades
Cora – What is on your card
Sephine – An unmarried mother
Joe – The thickest man in history
Josie – A Nonce
Elena – A Bully
Joe – A woman who lies
Sephine – A Faggot
Cora – A man so corrupt and stupid that he believes that movies are real
Elena – My card is blank
Daddy – A ship of fools
Joe – Dad what are you doing here
Daddy – Playing charades with you all
Josie – Daddy my Daddy
Daddy – Darling Josephine how are you
Josie – As mad as normal
Josie then hugs her father and smothers him with kisses
Sephine is quietly weeping
Cora and Elena are chatting quietly to each other in Greek
Joe – But Dad you are dead
Daddy – I drowned at sea when the Joe & Josephine sank
Joe – But you are very much alive
Daddy – You have the finest brain I know and will accept what I am about to say
Joe – Go ahead
Daddy – There is a God and a heaven I had always suspected that
Joe – I agree
Daddy – I am happy to say that you do not spend all your time in heaven
Sephine – Really
Daddy – Yes you get pass cards little pink cards signed by God
Daddy – They are like travel passes
Joe – Are you going to stay
Elena – Would you like tea
Josie – Date and Walnut cake
Daddy (to all present) – Remember this day my children as I have brought you all good news
Josie – The Prime Minister has been assassinated
Daddy – I said good news not great news
Joe – Have you visited Mummy
Daddy – I am on my way there
Josie – On Sundays she is sometimes at the allotment
Joe – It is the north allotment as the south one is flooded
Daddy – God guides me
Daddy – Theatre of the Absurd
Joe then stands up and collects cards from each player opens the window and throws them out
Joe – Silence screams but we do not hear its music
Daddy leaves the stage
The lights fade
Nothing is said