Do you want to see my bum Aubrey
What
Do you see my bum
Not really
I have a beautiful bum
It would make me very happy
If you looked at my bum
Well if it makes you happy Juliet
What do you think
What do you think about my bum
You have a pretty bum
No about the tattoo
What tattoo
The tattoo on my left cheek
What does it say
Juliet loves Aubrey
That is sweet of you but I am engaged to Jill
I know
What did you notice about my tattoo
That is was in a very pleasant typeface
It was the Doves Type
Really
Once it was the most beautiful typeface in England
It was said to be the crown jewel
Of the Arts and Crafts movement
Interesting
It was first used in the five volume Doves Bible
But in 1916 ended up in the Thames near Hammersmith Bridge
Why
Because a chap named T.J.Cobden-Sanderson threw them into the murky waters
After his partnership with Emery Walker collapsed
What caused the collapse
Fuck knows
Something like half a million pieces of type
Ended up in the mud
Is it still there
No well not all of it
Doug and Martin are diving as we speak
What condition are they in
Damp cold probably in need of a cup of coffee
Seriously
Not to bad considering that they have been underwater for a hundred years
Juliet
Yes
You can pull your bottoms up
Oh yes
The postman is coming down the path
He has seen it all before
Really
Yes
Oh that it good
I like to think that it brightens his day
Really
He lost his mum last year
How dreadful
She was run over by a milk float
Do milk floats still exist
It seems that they do
Do you think that I am a strange girl Aubrey
Not really
Does Jill show her bum to her friends
Not that I know of
Is she into typefaces
I have never asked her
You
I am now
You did not think that I was too forward
Not in a bit
Really
I must say I did not wake up this morning
Thinking that I would be discussing Art and Crafts typefaces whilst looking at your bare bum
You can touch it if you like
Or photograph it
What would Jill say
I think that she would understand
After all it is just a tattoo
Maybe
You look confused
I am
You are a unique person Juliet
Really
You are one of these rare people who spread happiness
If you make someone happy then it makes you happy
You are a rare creature
Do not change
Please do not change
I might smell after a few days
Ha Ha
I remember seeing a French movie some years ago about a girl like you
Her goal in life was to make people happy
What as the movie called
Amélie
Really
Yes it was a lovely movie
Is it still playing at the local cinemas
I doubt it as it was made in 2001
It is available on DVD I believe
Oh I will look out for it