As part of my studies

What are you studying

Domestic Science

Seriously

I am studying Catholicism

Are you going to take Holy Orders

No I get a free trip to Italy

As I said as part of my course

I was invited to visit a convent

Masturbating nuns and all that

That is a fallacy

Nuns no longer masturbate each other

They are more do it yourself fans

You see them in B&Q all the time

They use sex toys

We are no longer in the Dark Ages

Sex toys

Yes

What like Lego

Not really

They use vibrators and other toys

Rosaries

Possibly but they would have to be very careful

I have never been to a convent

Really

The next thing you will tell me is that you have never seen a masturbating nun

No I have never seen a nun masturbate

A Mother Superior

Do they really masturbate

Have you ever seen a woman masturbate

Oh yes many times

But you do not have a girlfriend

Are you telling me fibs

No

Then who

My sister I have watched Dani masturbate

Really

Yes

Is she still shaven

How do you know that

Think about it

Dani is as pure as the driven snow

Do you realise that every time you lie

An angel falls from heaven

She thinks that you are a wild animal

That is all part of the attraction

I thought you were my friend

I am your friend and I care about you

But I wanted to ensure you were safe

Was there anything that shocked you in the convent

Well apart from the saunas and judo classes not much

Although I drew a line at the gender neutral toilets

As you never knew when a chick with a dick might barge in

Call me old fashioned but convent or no convent

I do not like being anally raped