Have you experimented with drugs

No

Have you

It is like standing in front of a train

Thank you for inviting me on this holiday

It is such a beautiful island

A question

Please

Why did your parents call you Europa

Because they loved travelling around Europe by train

This is a nice hotel

It has been owned by the same family since the war

Have you noticed that there are paintings

Of white kittens in every room

Yes

That is because the first owner used to breed snow cats

Have you always been English

That is a strange question

It is a strange world

I am as English as you might find

I look English

I sound English

My father was French

So was mine

What nationality was your mother

I never knew her

How sad

My father said she was from Siam

But you said that your parents travelled together

They did but my mother was a replacement mother

Would you mind if I took a bath as the day is hot

The water here is incredibly soft

You can join me if you like

I never kiss on my first holiday

Then we will just talk to each other in the bath

I have a scar which I am ashamed of

Where is your scar

You will find out

What caused the scar

A trolley on a railway platform

I was running for a train when the trolley suddenly appeared

The hospital was very kind

Do you always wear sunglasses

Only in bed

I was given them by my pen pal

One day they just fell through the latterbox

Letterbox

Was it a romantic relationship

No we never met

They are from New York City

Do you wear sunglasses

Yes but I have a habit of leaving them on trains

There are no trains on this island

There used to be trains before the war

What was left after the conflict

Was later destroyed in an earthquake

What are you reading

Anna Karenina

When I was younger I identified with Anna

Do you believe in coincidences

I have never really thought about it

Why do you ask

Up to last year I worked at an Estate Agents

It was run by three sisters

Anna Karen and Nina

That is so strange

Mathematics

You will be safe on this island as there are no trains

They have not run for over seventy years

Then I am very safe

Do you want to know a secret about me

Yes if you are willing to share it

I frequently play Scalextric in the nude

Do you lock the doors

I live on my own

Scalextric gives me a feeling of freedom

Obviously

I would like to think that the cupboard over there is full of Scalextric parts

It is a blanket cupboard

One can only hope

That is the poorest chat up line I have ever heard

It was not a chat up line

I would be very surprised if a Scalextric fell out of the cupboard

Shall we take a look

Straight ahead turn left

The lock is a bit stiff

The Heat of the Islands