Sweet Spot

A guy walks into a sweet shop 

He recognises the girl 

Behind the counter 

As an ex girlfriend 

He asks her 

If her sweet spot 

Was still in the same place 


I do not think that joke is funny 

In some ways it is offensive 

You assume that it was a joke 

Does it say joke on the box 

If not shut the fuck up 


Old John Blake

Built and cared for an avenue 

Of pink mauve and cerise trees

This avenue could be found

Near a deep and murky river 


Lady Nell

Tis my memory Lady Nell 

That you told me 

Your Lady Garden 

Was quite blonde 

Without any blemish 

But I know that to be untrue 

As your matted undergrowth 

 Is as black as the night 


My New Flat Mate

You are sitting naked in my Bath 

Which does not bother me at all 

But the city might take a different view