His full name was Paul Williamsburg

But he liked to be called Williamsburg

In the years leading up to his accident

He had an obsession with cleanliness

Taking up to twelve baths a day

Sometimes on his own

Sometimes with one of his angels

He was also obsessed with kindness

And on one occasion gave Mary Gante

A Rolling Stone reporter his famous

Kew Gardens painting

Which now hangs in the MOMA

But it was not always like that

As for many years he was in serious debt

And was always on the run from creditors

Sometimes he would hide in lofts and cellars

Or radically change his appearance

His favourite country was England

And he visited as often as he could

His favourite place was Kew Gardens

Which he filmed and painted many times

His great friend Alice the Cat lived in Kew

And he often stayed with her when in London

Sometimes when on the run from the taxman

She was one of the last people to see him

Before his mysterious disappearance

Although she knew where he was

The tax authorities in the US had uncovered

The Purple Fraud

Thousands of dollars had been hidden away

No tax had been paid

It was a simple scheme

During his Purple Year

He arranged for all his Purple Paintings

To be copied by those without his talent

They were obvious forgeries

Even a senior member of the FBI was taken in

Williamsburg aware of a warrant for his arrest

Suddenly left New York

Nobody apart from Alice the Cat knew where he was

She was frequently asked the same question

But always said that loved flowers more than the truth

Since his accident he has been reported in many places

Alice the Cat was often followed by reporters

When she travelled abroad visiting famous botanical gardens

A number of years have passed since Cornwall’s least famous son

Left Macy’s never to be seen again it was a great career move

As his paintings and especially the forgeries command high prices

He never signed his movies and Alice the Cat signed everything else

I once shared a bath with Williamsburg and two of his angels

New York Number 28 was the name of the five day long movie

It is occasionally shown at film festivals but never in the US

It is the longest movie shot in total darkness

Voices can be heard but nothing can be seen

It is supposed that the artist is hiding in this movie

And this has caused the US authorities

To confiscate all known copies

Last year I was arrested in LA for no real reason

Except I wanted to be called Alice the Cat

I was told in no uncertain terms that the artist

Would break cover one day and they would be waiting

What they are not aware of is that New York Number 28

Has been copied many times and many bootleg copies exist

Including the most famous one shot in strong sunlight

I remember the movie well as after six minutes the artist

Dressed as a French general leaves the room through a side door

Leaving the two angels and myself relaxing in the bath

On that day we had dressed as Tibetan Monks