I have made a few mistakes in my life 

Like getting my younger sister pregnant 

For this I was punished by the state 

They gave a me a choice to rot in jail or join up 

I chose the latter as the theatres of war 

Were located in many attractive locations 

After my basic training I was given a shiny new rifle

A smart uniform and was fed and watered before my departure 

I must say that I had fitted into my new life like a glove 

Felice was sending me happy letters on perfumed paper 

Life was good as I could not wait to start killing the enemy 

However when we arrived in the latest war zone

Which was situated in a beautiful valley 

No fucker was there which disappointed me greatly 

It appears that the war had finished the previous week 

But nobody thought to tell anybody else 

I deserted immediately and returned to Felice and little Martin 

That was my pathetic war 

Felice is now pregnant with our second child 

Who we will either call Vincent or Virginie

Another war has broken out in another area 

I will not fight even if I am asked to do so again 

As I have yet to receive an apology for the previous fiasco