When I was quite young I fell in love

With my geography teacher

Although she was quite innocent

Of my sad and lustful thoughts

God then subtly smiled on me

As whilst delivering papers

On my rural paper round

I saw my geography teacher

Quite naked after enjoying a bath

This made me very happy

And I frequently sketched her from memory

Life was good and then I had an accident

When I was knocked off my bicycle

By a careless driver in a white van

I spent the next two months in hospital

The driver was heavily fined and received a ban

As I recovered I often thought about my teacher

She knew that I had been rather badly injured

And visited me with the headmaster and his wife

It was then that I wondered if I had been punished by God

For enjoying and secretly recording my fortunate theatre

Even though some years have passed since my accident

I have still not really answered this impossible question