Do you realise

That I am taking a bath

In the City of Bath

It was so nice of you to invite me

As recently I have not been my Sunday Best

And you are the guest of honour

At the Bath Literary Festival

I am proud of your company Josie

It is not that long ago

That I slapped that bitch

She deserved it

I do not think

That we will be invited back soon

Possibly not

I actually made the Daily Mail

The Poet Laureate has a Mad Sister

Or something along those lines

She was an over promoted academic

Who had fucked her way to the top

I enjoyed slapping her

On reflection

I was thinking of Laura Riding

I am no Robert Graves

Far from it

That said it was all great fun

What shall I wear

You choose

I will wear my white silk blouse

And those lovely black jeans

Are you going to wear shoes

Possibly not as I have such nice feet

Is this why you bought me to Bath

As you wanted to upset the establishment

I do hope that you are not knighted Joe

Why do you say that as I would not accept it

You are not by any chance turning traditional

Fuck no I would run naked across the palace

The corgis night bite you on the arse

That is a chance I would have to take