I have been watching you sleep
Do you mind
Not at all
You have just missed Exeter
Oh dear
Was that your stop
No I am on my way to St Ives
Hazel Court
My name is Hazel Court
Josie my name is Josie
I am going to Plymouth
My brother is an artist
Perhaps you have heard of him
Peter Court
Is that the Peter Court who punched
I Am an Artist at the RA
The very same
This made front page news
As the other is the darling of the progressives
He called himself an artist but that is far from the truth
Peter in my view is very much like Augustus John
Perhaps you have heard of him
Very much
I also like the work of Gwen John
Joe and I often travel to Tenby
Sorry to pry but are you related to Joe Marin
Yes he is my brother
What makes you say that
Because if you will excuse me saying this
You are the feminine of Joe Marin
We are identical twins
Although I am the older by twelve minutes
That said Joe is obviously taller than me
Do you see much of your brother
Yes we live together with his fiancée Sephine
When he appears on television he is very fierce
He does not suffer fools
Especially those in positions of influence
For that he gets a bad press
Does it bother him
Not in the slightest
This is my last question
Tell me to shut up if you think I am being rude
Fire away
Was there any truth in the Daily Mail article
Yes
How awful for you
It was great fun
Why do you say that
Because Joe ghosted the whole thing
He and David Tote-Brooks were at Kings together
David had fallen out with owners
So he and Joe decided to do this
The Poet Laureate is fucking his identical sister
Sorry for the French
And for some reason the establishment could not deal with it
Questions Fit and Proper were asked in the house
But whilst it was true there was nothing concrete
We were hounded for a while by the tabloids
But there was no proof
For a while Joe and I upped sticks and went to Como
Nobody out there gave a flying fuck
That is why I love the Italians so much
The Sun sent out a photographer to track us down
He got the topless shots he was after
On Lake Como
Joe set it up
For a while I was the accursed women
Who had seduced her talented brother
I was the bête noire
Joe threatened to sue
And slowly the tide was turned
Joe’s laureateship was no longer threatened
He was treated with kid gloves
And he has dined out on it ever since
But the establishment was not totally finished
The police began sniffing around
Do we still have a police force
As technically fucking your sister is illegal
And then it sunk in
The whole thing had been a massive hoax
Like the Dreadnought hoax
Very much but not as daring
A great number of people in the establishment
Were made to look very stupid
Enquiries were made
But we had broken no laws
No money had passed hands
Within a year it was yesterdays news
We just returned to being stale boring people
This said I write for a living now as Josie Marine
That is where I am off to now
St Ives
No to a small hamlet nearby
I intend to write my magnum opus there
Whether I do is another matter
I will most likely write about coastal flowers
Who knows
I do not think that I have had
Such an interesting conversation
With who up to an hour ago
Was a complete stranger
Miss
Miss
Sorry to wake you but we will be in Penzance in a few minutes
You asked me to wake you
Of course I did
Thank you so very much
My friend is meeting me at the station
We are driving to St Ives
That is the reason I travelled by train
I have just returned from Japan
And am awfully lagged
It has been a pleasure
Thank you again and sorry I was such a burden
Joe
Josie
I am just arriving in Penzance
Hazel is already there
She is waiting for me
Be safe and do not get lost
I have just returned from Japan Joe
I know that I am dappy
But Penzance
Really
Sorry sis
Just to let you know I will send you
A Polar Vortex
When Hazel and I have settled in
Hate it or love it bro
Sephine will also have a copy
I am off to the theatre later
Which show
I do not know
As Sephine has booked the tickets
It is her surprise