You are mediocre I am mediocre We are both mediocre Mediocre people Make the best assassins That is a fact

I purchased three model buses At a bus fair yesterday One Blue One Orange One Green These buses were called The Three Buses of the Apocalypse Is there something that I have not been told

Good Morning Sir When is the next train to Flagstaff Dunno Where am I Lydd Where the fuck is that Kent Is that your station Yes It is a ruin I know Had a fire You could say that Electric blanket catch fire No some kids did it Because they were bored Did you shoot […]

Joe Have you noticed how many things go to court these days Governments are continuously challenged But who picks up the bill most of the time Mrs & Mrs Honest Taxpayer You cannot make this up There is only one winner Lucy x

May May May eye ask ewe a question Joe You may ask me a question May May You have often said That governments normally red Are manned by stupid people (beware the tyranny of the stupid) Does it not scare you It does scare me But not as much As those with brains As they […]

Hi Joe how are ewe I am very good Josie Josie is very happy There is talk of you and Sephine Morag I am surprised at you Just probing You have been seen out together I have been seen out with many women I suppose I am quite popular Joe sensible question Free Speech I […]

It was a humid afternoon The church clock Long silent Suddenly announced the hour A single leaf fell From the smugglers tree It was the only casualty

When I was just a young lad I lived in Shepherds Bush And being an irresponsible young lad born of responsible patents I explored in parts the old Wood Lane/White City station Many years later I used to visit a house more or less opposite the BBC Which something to do with the railways or […]

I am part of a team That looks after The railway tracks It is a very important job And a very dangerous job With strict safety protocols Firmly in place We have to be there As will cannot repair The tracks remotely Alertness is the key A few weeks ago A young lady Who was […]

My Red Setter Comes from a common background It is very bolshie And appears uneducated But behaves well In good company Joe I am stuck in a hotel room And as normal cannot sleep So I wrote this poem on a napkin Would you like me To send it two ewe Lizzie