How many guys numbers did you get today Cora and I were in a bar last night When this Arab guy joined us He tried to chat us both up And was annoyingly persistent But instead of telling him to fuck off I told him that you were a vicious gangster I hope you do […]

I sometimes hide in the confessional And listen to the wicked sins Of the good people of Harrow Town Some are really juicy and perverted Pearl Necklace Mrs Block You dog’s butt hole Mr Jones It is safer to wear condoms SKS Really I should know As I am the son of a celibate priest […]

With Cheddar Cheese Sits on my sketching desk Next to me I am thinking of you But am sketching the lake Pour away the ocean My friend It is nothing but a fake With thanks to Auden

Josie I do hope this finds you As you know I suffer from the odd ear infection I have one at present eczema bloody eczema It makes my hearing a bit muffled So if I am spoken to I will point to my ear Just to be polite Sometimes I feel abandoned by God As […]

It creeps up on you quietly Pretending to be friendly That is the way Your poem opens I should be on the farm But choose not to work As the fields are dormant Nothing grows in the dry soil

When Friday is not Saturday And certainly not Sunday You quickly realise That you have become lost Somewhere within the week

Josie Although I roughly know where you are I am sending this mail to Amy as she will know where her sister is it is unlikely that you are aware of the election result as you lie in Cora’s arms It was a landslide as I expected and the Lib Dems did well which indicates […]

Elizabeth Blue and I were walking Towards the crimson beach Which was downhill most of the way I always accompanied her to the beach As she was not a strong swimmer Whereas I excelled at the sport Another reason was there had been a murder On the night train a few days previously A gangster […]

Mona Mona and I were cycling Towards the purple beach Which was downhill most of the way I always accompanied her to the beach As she was not a strong swimmer Whereas I excelled at the sport Another reason was there had been a murder On the night train a few days previously A gangster […]

Don Lope de Aguirre I the Wrath of God will marry my own daughter and with her I will create the purest dynasty the earth has ever seen That sounds fun Joe is it from that movie you mentioned earlier Yes Aguirre Wrath of God It blew me out of the water when I first saw it […]