I frequently receive correspondence from fans and anti-fans reacting to my poetry and fictions 1/ You are a not a poet Keats was a poet You are a piece of shit Die Soon Love Mum (PS are you still coming for dinner on Sunday) 2/ I find your poetry racist homophobic and sexist (what about […]

I am not sure why I have called this poem My Nudist Manifesto As it is not about nudists Far from it The poem is about a bus station That is situated directly opposite my apartment I say my department (typo) but it is shared I live with a gay girl named Geraldine Who is […]

There is a politician so fat That I am considering Turning her into a piece of art By painting a landscape on her fat fat arse It will not be as lovely as the chewing gum art That entertains me each day on the Millennium Bridge But I am sure that the Grand Canyon will […]

This code of colours was unique to Staithes Which is situated here on the East Coast of England The women of the town carried fish baskets on their head When transferring the catch when their men returned And the bonnets were designed with this in mind The wide brim was there to stop the sun […]

The Oxford Book of English Verse abandoned In the waiting room of a Shropshire Railway Station

After many years of failure I discovered that my rock Was in the fact the west wind

I paddled as I walked towards the art gallery It was a warm summer’s day in autumn The sea was a flat sandy blue in colour I felt at peace with myself and the world The beach was quite empty apart from thirty Some were swimming but mainly like me They were admiring the mirror […]

I live next to a goods yard Where many redundant Railway carriages rest They are no longer used Forgotten and obscure But I love them all They are my life Sometimes at night I visit these cold carriages And explore the vacancy Of their compartments I can feel the history of journeys And can see […]

In an ancient wall was found The remains of a lift shaft That Christ might have used This poem does not have a title As I do not like vertical journeys

Esther was a serious girl Who apart from being an artist Was heavily into philosophy Last week she fell Into the mirror lake Whilst cycling on the jetty But could not appreciate The absurdity of the accident