Author: Stuart Miller-Osborne

  • Moral Tale

    I saw the au pair’s bare bottom this morning It was a complete accident as I had forgotten my briefcase And had returned to our Highgate house My briefcase was waiting for me on the dining table I then popped into the nursery once again to say goodbye to Gordon Valencia was bending over his […]

  • Lecture Joe

    It appears that many people Suffer from mental health problems But do they suffer or are they blind To the great beauty of the world I am frequently told that I suffer And after reading the shit that I write I can see how this conclusion is reached But I disagree with them as I […]

  • An Orchard Without Apples

    I have a large orchard So populated with trees That I have problems In harvesting the views beyond I should have become a rich man With these fruits at my disposal But never have I seen Or even picked for pleasure A solitary red apple hanging

  • On a Trip to India

    On a trip to India some years ago A mystic quite seriously told me That one cannot drown on dry land I have yet to really work that one out

  • June 22nd

    It is the day after The Longest Day I have decided To bake a cake I have only used One ingredient Kindness I have put Kindness in my Cake

  • The Scented Garden

    Only ash Just ash Which I keep In glass jars On my Shelf of Light It is no longer Perfumed

  • Joe Ordinary (Notes)

    I have decided to write a novel A pretty straightforward novel About a man who loves his country so much That he has decided to serve it In my book I portray him in a simple light Joe Ordinary is a polymath with an exceptional IQ He speaks a number of languages and understands many […]

  • The Dream Fields of Margaret

    He ploughs the air He measures a twig He opens the door with an axe He is making clothes for fishes He is teaching a pig to play on a flute He catches the wind with a net He changes a fly into an elephant He is making ropes of sand He draws water with […]

  • Longest Day

    Oh to be in Avebury Now that summer is here No longer following The crowds Who have lost direction But meeting oneself On equal terms Once again It is an amazing feeling

  • By the Sea

    Do not whine Do not complain Work harder Spend more time alone And then you might Write poetry It is a solitary occupation JD