Author: Stuart Miller-Osborne

  • Nose Bleed

    Whenever I go near a parrot My nose bleeds This is quite is awful As I work in a pet shop I just went to a doctor Who has advised me To get an elfin cut And learn to play the piano

  • Eastern Region

    I feel that this dish is too salty I am sorry to hear that Sir Would you sample this pie Yes I do believe you are right It is far too salty I will summon my mother There is no need for that It is your choice Sir What is your name Martin Martin Your […]

  • Letters Spearmint

    Julie Ann Bee would always send Spearmint letters She become quite famous For her spearmint letters Which soon became very collectable And could often bee found at violet auctions

  • Butterflies

    I have taken to wearing Brightly coloured tee shirts During the balmy summer months As a consequence I have started to attract Butterflies red white and blue I cherish these subtle pleasures As normally I am shunned By a majority of other creatures

  • Two Ladybirds

    Whilst waiting for Will in a bookshop I began to read a book of Elizabeth Browning’s poetry It was then I noticed a ladybird trapped between the pages These are one of my favourite creatures so I gently Asked the Portuguese owner of this interesting shop To read sonnets to the ladybird as an aid […]

  • Two Ladybirds

    Whilst waiting for Jane in a bookshop I began to read a book of Robert Browning’s poetry It was then I noticed a ladybird trapped between the pages These are one of my favourite creatures so I gently Returned the book to a liberal space between the shelves Where I knew that it would easily […]

  • Hegel

    There was only one man who ever understood me And even he didn’t understand me Why Because I killed him With my pen

  • Hegel

    Hegel said That Africa has no history And was outside of the historical process What makes you say that Joe It is in this book What book This book You are holding a sheet of paper Light blue in colour Violet ink is so beautiful Is this your creation No I quote Africa is not […]

  • Two Pebbles and a Golf Ball

    I have an exhibit in the Art Gallery It is showcasing local artists I have called it Robert Trebor Because that is my name The gallery has insisted That I call the exhibit Two Pebbles and a Golf Ball For the sake of clarity

  • My Brother Paul

    I do not know what made you do this It was quite stupid and has caused damage You have also hurt me a great deal Which I know was not your intention But that is the reality of our situation