Author: Stuart Miller-Osborne

  • The Poet Masefield

    Do not criticise what you cannot understand What are you doing Listening to Dylan You Listening to Dylan

  • The Peter and Paul

    It is my moral duty To say that I am Heavy with Child Whether I am guilty or not Is of no importance As my foetus is innocent

  • Killed with Kindness

    I am hiding out in a hotel room High above a celebrating city The cops are searching for me As I am an ny assassin I have registered under my favourite alias F Anny Kaplan But the authorities are dumb I will not be caught As unlike other assassins I do not use guns or […]

  • The Greatest Footballer

    This is not going to be a long piece Why should it be In short during the final months of the war I had rescued a wounded footballer As he stumbled towards the enemy lines Another rake of machine gun fire Would have finished him off He had been shot just above the knee And […]

  • The Three Legged Mare

    I am standing where Dick Turpin Was executed In 1739 A blue bus Has just passed by Tyburn York Tyburn York Tyburn York Three Brothers Were aboard The blue bus I am having dinner With them This evening

  • Sparkle Blue

    Is that your real name Yes Why did you kill the minister Because Rory Red Was in Bed What was your reasoning I am an existentialist Even though my name is Sparkle Blue Are you a pony No a sea horse Why did you do it Because Mr Full of Holes Was corrupt A liar […]

  • Existentialists in a Jar

    Interview Good Morning Stuart Good Morning Maureen Mo It says Maureen on your badge I prefer to be called Mo That is strange as I prefer to be called SMO Those are your initials So they are I think we have connected I believe we have May I ask you a question Yes Are you […]

  • North London

    I was in North London today sitting on a bench When I saw a very beautiful woman Wearing a white blouseAnd a short brown skirt She smiled at me I smiled back She was carrying a book of my poetry And asked me to sign it I agreed but only if she would sign my […]

  • Deeply Beloved

    Little is known about Matheus Salte’s relationship With Lucy The Countess Von Teck As they corresponded for just thirteen years Before it was broken off by her husband Yet it left behind a legacy of over one hundred watercolours Which ranged from moonlit landscapes to dramatic storms From summer fantasies to commands of the Northern […]

  • The Gardens of Stanley

    I am standing quietly in The Gardens of Stanley With Tamara my dog This is my last week in Berlin