Alice I was due to attend a football match but there had been heavy rain so I decided to cycle to the ground to see if the game was on so you can imagine my surprise when I was met at the gate by identical triplets who were all wearing identical blue polka dot bikinis […]

I have been a sniper for many years I have ended the miserable lives Of presidents and tyrants of perverts and gangsters My gun is always for hire at the right price I am the ultimate professional But things have begun to change lately As I am beginning to care I am now haunted by […]

One day I was in the park with my young son We stopped at an ornamental pool I looked down at the fish and said Do you see how the fish are coming to the surface and swimming around as they please That’s what fish really enjoy    My son looked up at me His […]

The question I always ask myself Is quite simple Indeed it is the simplest question Ever devised by man My question was Am I a grasshopper Or a washed up poet I looked like a washed up poet As I was scruffy and in good need of a shave But I have learned the appearances […]

I once dreamed that I was a grasshopper Free in the wonderful fields of England When I awoke I was a happy man That was until a grasshopper rang me To say that he had dreamt of being a washed up poet           ZZx    

I spent most of my afternoon rescuing fish from the beach These poor creatures had been washed up by the storm Some were quite dead but others were clinging to life I returned them all back to the sea without favour For some reason I felt good about myself And did not care what others […]

My son once asked me why so many fine ships Are broken up without a reprieve After years of loyal and exemplary service I told him that they had endured their useful lives And were now being rewarded with an eternal rest He looked up at me with a confusion in his saucer blue eyes […]

There is a natural spring amongst the rocks At the southern end of Nash Beach It is very popular with beach users And therein lies its problem As many people either wash their hair Or soap down under this shower Leaving soapy deposits which stain the beach And at times run into the shallows A […]

My next door neighbour died this morning This has made me very sad My boyfriend is helping me through this painful period As he assures me that I have another one on the next floor

The tenth Olympic Winter Games Were held in Grenoble in 1968 I did not attend any of the events As I was not born until 1976