My cat Tom wants to go blonde As he is tired of being black This has presented me with a problem As I have run out of crimson paint

I have a small canoe which I share with Tracey Jecko It has seen better days and occasionally leaks Which is very irritating especially on summer canals Tracy forever the Heath Robinson always brings Spare pairs of knickers to plug up our leaking water pipes I prefer using her pink ones whereas Tracey chooses light…

It could not have happened anywhere else What could not have happened anywhere else Have you been drinking Anne Marie What have you been drinking Anne Michelle Coffee Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit What is wrong It is all over my new top Would you hand me my Nomi Bad Why Because it has another…

The town of in North Western France Has a rather ornate railway station It is run mainly by Marcel and Marcel Le Paul The older Marcel took over the running of the station From his father Marcel who was injured in the war The youngest Marcel began his duties even years ago On his graduation…

The church was closed for over sixty years It had been made redundant by a much larger church During this time is had been used as a place to store hope It missed the nineteenth century improvements And when it was finally reopened between the wars Time had stood still nothing had changed It is…

Jesus I love Jesus It is as simple as that Nothing else matters

I had been kidnapped by some bad guys Because my father owned a London bank At first I thought they might kill me After Daddy coughed up the dosh But the opposite happened As I was taken out on deck And told to look out to sea Whales my friend Can you see whales I…

Your poem spoke directly to me It discussed the loneliness Of warm desert nights The universe night trains And my thoughts about travelling alone

Whenever you visit the city You stay in my flat Next to railway lines The freight trains are noisy and frequent And you find it very hardtosleep So we slowly get drunk on cheap wine And crash out in eachothersarms Sharing my cotton pyjamas I wear the blue trousers and you theredjacket

As we walk into the garden I will be waiting for you Wearing a silk ribbon Yet no lipstick or blush During the thirteenth hour I will drown in a gentle stream My hair will be matted The thick mud will alter my features And it will be hard to distinguish me From the debris…