I often sit in cinemas completely alone Even though the house is quite full The reason for this is that I am in each movie Whether I like it or not this is my reality It might be a western or a spy thriller A horror film a comedy or a love story I am […]

Are you excited Stan Excited about what Our holiday Of course I am Just think in a few short hours As I have said before Stan and Jane deserve a sunshine break I agree with you Then why are you writing Because I hate flying It takes my mind off of flying It is not […]

The best author will be the one Who is ashamed to become a writer I am a poet Should I suffer shame What are you doing Stan Thinking about something Nietzsche noted We have a busy day tomorrow Our flight leaves at ten thirty We deserve the break as life has been hectic Can you […]

Stan Have you ever seen the movie Emmanuelle Yes I saw it in Paris some years ago Did you like it Yes You I liked it but still thought it to be old fashioned Explain That world does not exist any more It was a world of innocent pleasures When did you see it Jane […]

I own a small piece of land in Scotland It was the prize in a workplace raffle I have not visited this piece of land Even though it has views of Ben Nevis This small area of land is totally mine And is situated near a railway Which I find pleasing as I like trains […]

if you want to do something to your advantage then quit this poem

I had been searching For what I casually termed The Samuel Beckett Bog For a number of years I had visited many toilets But none had come close To satisfying the approved criteria That was until yesterday When I found this bog Hidden in a southern coastal town It was perfect in all aspects Reasonably […]

I met my girlfriend Betty Bleach At the bus stop on Joe Hill She was very attractive And I fell for her straight away But she was a perverse girl With some questionable habits One of these involved urination Which is an innocent pursuit in itself But Betty insisted on pissing in my mouth Which […]

As I left my bus on Joe Hill A girl wearing hippy clothes Thrust a leaflet into my hand Is that a piece of paper That you are giving me I asked quietly of the girl She did not answer But referred me to her tiny dog

An elderly lady joined the bus at Joe Hill The bus was crowded She sat next to a fisherman His rod was opposite him She did not immediately speak I thought that she was a mute But I was wrong as she asked the fisherman If he was going fishing The fisherman smiled but did […]