During the deep depths of my despair I took out a contract on my own life You know the type Buy one and get one three Money back if not totally satisfied But I soon changed my mind As I wanted to write poetry again But I had fucked up and lost the contract Which…

I sometimes engage in sombre conversations with butterflies On windswept beaches and in ruined churches and chapels We discuss the safest ways to transport high explosives And why one’s bathwater should always remain blue These interesting conversations normally conclude When we compare our collections of coloured cottons

I try not to look at my reflection As it bores me But if a mirror Is either broken or distorted I will study my features of despair To gather a truer portrait of my pain

I have a very important job in the City And a lifestyle to match But it is an empty lifestyle And I hate every second of it But my spirits have been lifted As I have recently discovered The best Nihilist Toilet in London I discovered the poetry by accident As I was feeling unwell…

Recently I left my umbrella on a train I was enjoying my journey so much That I left my assistant propped up Against a lush red seat In a way I am jealous of my umbrella As it is likely to be either still travelling Or has been discreetly positioned In a dusty lost property…

I own and live on a railway station A Heritage Railway uses this station With my total approval as I love trains I am a philosopher A philosopher who loves trains Three girls probably all under thirty Are chatting on the opposite platform In a way I felt sorry for them As they are dressed…

My Spanish cousin is visiting us for a few days She has never visited England before We live deep in the countryside On the Wiltshire/Berkshire borders Our house backs on to the railway And trains speed by at regular intervals My cousins name is Jane Although she is called Paz This anomaly is caused As…

It seemed as if God had taken a knife And sliced open the sky That was the scale of cloudscape today Yet this spectacular exhibition Was ignored by the blind of the town 27th October 2023

I broke my leg whilst climbing recently I was flying for such a short time A matter of seconds/moments Yet I found it rather pleasurable And then I was punished My injury was straightforward but serious And I have been housebound ever since My cousins Dip and Doo have been popping in To ensure that…

I have been told By people who loathe me That my poetry and fictions Resemble each other That is very true As they share the same mother I am their errant father Who spends a great deal of time In the fields rotating his crops