I had studied history at Cambridge And was considered an outstanding student Much was expected of me but then I vanished It was possibly because I understood history far too well So well that I could see into the future and this frightened me Rather like the Stone Age Man who watched fast trains   […]

It has been brought to my attention that the above named poem offended a number of small people as well as some taller ones For this I am truly sorry It is so difficult being a poet and a fiction writer these days As I feel that God has abandoned me and without his guidance […]

In the early days  I used to write music  On the naked backs  Of my girlfriends  These pieces were very very  Short  As they were all dwarves    This is an offensive poem Outlaw Do I give a fuck Anna You should give a fuck Outlaw Why Because dwarves has feelings So do lobsters but […]

When I was very young I would enjoy a beach funfair Which was not far from the harbour railway station This place of amusement has now been lost to the hunger of time And only a bell that rarely tolls and a snaking wooden boardwalk remain Neither remind me my childhood hours or the soft […]

Mary Parker promised To show me her tan lines If I assassinated the president This I did but I was unable To enjoy her exhibition As I had been born blind

On Folkestone Sands I can connect Nothing with nothing   I thought of this poem When sitting on the lowest step Of a multi coloured sun terrace   The tall Hawksmoor was to my right Handsome and erect A lighthouse without a light   People passing people chatting Cyclists cycling walkers walking Seagulls screeching history […]

Late Summer I spent a quiet afternoon Watching the wild grasses glow As the hot September winds Caressed the concrete beach   Fin de l’été I knew then that my summer was fading Very slowly without theatre And that the darker months would leave me Quite alone on her extinguished stage    

What is this A photograph of a sunrise How do you feel Happy   What is this A photograph of a sunset How do you feel Happy   What is this A photograph of your naked wife How do you feel Confused   What is this A photograph of your naked sister How do you […]

Billy Norman Mates was known as Billy No Mates by his friends And Norman Bates by his loving mother Billy was a keen photographer and owned a number of cameras Although he was a very heavy sleeper Billy always rose at dawn To photograph the beauty of the sunrises on the nearby beaches   During […]

Anna have you ever taken drugs No Have you Yes Then you are stupid I only smoked So smoking is good No I did not take hard drugs That is rather like a serial killer saying that he only killed six people whereas the true professionals kill many more I always hate you once a […]