I am Love I am Kind I am Considerate I am Joe But there are those Who dislike me And try to bite me They wish me harm But they will not succeed As under these white robes I have my trigger finger On an ice cold Uzi

I have built a mansion In the jungle I have named it Fades Distant Green

The local light is famed for its crystal brilliance It illuminates the town whatever the month When I am deep in thought I sometimes think That it faces Heaven

I had not realised how pale The various roofs of the castle were Perhaps it was the white sunlight Of that early spring day That created this effect The town of Deal Looks smaller from the air It is a coastal town Vast in its seascape With views to the continent On fine and clear…

You look a bit cross Joe I am feeling nauseous Are you feeling unwell Far from it Josie I have a feeling that I know – Then you would be correct I am just over six feet tall Which is slightly above average height But it was nothing in comparison Against the two WASP guys…

A few hours ago I walked barefoot across a local park As the grass was still damp from the morning dew It was a pleasant experience I have always walked barefoot When the conditions were right This habit dates back many years As frequently I was in the company Of a Polish girl named Zuzanna…

I have three identical cousins They are all very beautiful And like me are French-Israeli Although they are totally identical Mai is the loveliest to look at As she has ice green eyes Whereas the others have eyes of ink Juin is the tallest by far Followed by Mai and Avril Mai is a lesbian…

Would you like a lift To Newmarket Joe No thanks Mike I will take the stairs today As it helps me to stay fit Uncle Joe Yes Mary You will not be able To take the stairs Why Because that is stealing And you will be arrested

As many of you know I write poetry It was something God handed to me and in the view of others (at least the people I bribe) I am seen as a tedious, self centred – a shit poet if you will. But it is either that or hanging around taking the numbers of trains…

Elaine and I sleep Under a Confederate Flag In our bedroom Of a thousand dreams We leave our windows open So that other dreams might enrich The histories of our glorious days