I am standing quietly in The Gardens of Stanley With Tamara my dog Many people stroll Through these gardens But do not wonder Of its English name I am a direct descendant of Oliver Stratten Stanley Who once owned a nearby house That was destroyed during the war These beautiful gardens Are all that really…

“I t’ink”Said Hink-Y Dink,“I’ll take a drink I found this rhyme stuck To the shitty arse Of a half dead cat On Hampstead Heath It meant little to me As I have no interest In feline backsides But then I investigated its history It seems that when Michael Kenna died in 1946 He left some…

The buoyancy of drowned men Is a subject not much discussed By priests over breakfast

All life revolves around The Black Bull Inn Today I was due to host A Poetry Slam Event But this will be dry As my delivery is late Due to an accident On the motorway The Black Bull Inn Is popular with city workers Including the neurotic ones Such as Lynn Acott Baimes (Lynn Ascot…

Happy Little Trees Set In Threes Mask my Gothic House

I own a cafe that is part of an underground station It is very popular and was profitable Until about a year ago When a crip in a wheelchair complained That my disabled access was poor I told him that I did not cater for minorities And would not accept blind customers if they walked…

Nina I went to a wedding recently That is nice I caught the flowers of the bride What luck Yes The next day I met Ralph at a bus stop And now we are engaged to be married Stephen My best friend died recently How sad He decided that he would attend his own funeral…

Would you like a custard tart Peter Yes please And a coffee You are my girl Nilli Nell What are you reading La Peste Camus Oui Who would you rather fuck Camus or me You of course Why Because you have nice breasts Is that the only reason No Then why I want to fuck…

I live in a village named Edison It is the oldest village in the country Christ is said to have walked our hills And this has been widely celebrated In both music and in poetry Yet my home village remains sleepy As if it is trapped in an eternal dream

I am in an urban field full of trees Football matches are played here The goalposts are standing Penny Each Rusting White All the pitches are marked for play It is a bright day with a cool breeze Or a cool day with a bright breeze It is your choice not mine I am aware…