We are moving house and today I was sorting out our photographs into boxes it was a long job as we have recorded our lives in intimate detail I found one photograph which showed you running across the concourse at Paddington Station You were wearing your red hipster trousers which you lost in Greece I […]

I am due to fight a duel but I do not know my opponent Descriptions vary from a tall and dark man with a beard To a slightly older man with softer eyes but similar features I am told that certain mirrors hold a clue But I am yet to discover their true reflections Tomorrow […]

My wife was sitting by the window writing The Shifting Sands of Carbis Bay It was her sixth book of verse in just three years Caron was wearing a white blouse blue jeans and a pair of navy sneakers During the warmer months she would often compose naked But today was cooler with a harsh […]

I often answer questions in a sotto voce manner This sometimes irritates people But deep down I do not give a fuck about them As I am genuinely not that interested in life I let it pass me by without much conflict And whether people like or hate me means little I am far more interested in […]

I have a green ice hockey player embroidered on one of my socks This has only recently come to my attention These socks were given to me by my wife just over a year ago   I was once a world famous ice hockey player Although I never learnt to skate with ease Quite how […]

I first met Annie Agatha in an old bookshop She greeted me and that was it Jones the owner said that he had met her In the street outside when she asked him for a job Annie Agatha had a shock of black hair But was ordinary to look at and slightly plump She lived […]

Save Dave from the Rave was one of my original guardian angels But he was never really up to the job Under his watch I met with a number of accidents So he was laid off without protest And is now in charge of security at the Pearly Gates

I have four guardian angels whose names are Harry Barry Olimpique and Caesar They look after me each day I know that they are there Although they remain unseen Betrayed only by the odd ripple of light Of late I have needed them more But that has always been another story

Did you see that topless girl on the beach today  No  You must of been blind then as you walked straight past her I did not see a thing  She was blond with long hair   You are quiet I am troubled  Why  Because I do not miss things like that normally I take them […]

Bo Bo had decided to swim the Atlantic As he wanted the two worlds to meet But he abandoned his grand idea As he could not find room for his toothbrush