For many years it has been whispered that distressed travellers have been assisted by a girl in a white dress   As this has never happened to me I do not know whether this is true or a fanciful legend   I have seen a girl in a white dress haunting the back streets of…

I AM STANDING ON A BEACH WITH Marie AntNTOINETTE It is an ordinary beach Fifty-one envelopes are pinned to me Each contains tufts of her pubic hair They are to be used when creating new soups Near the rocks a poet is selling a painting It is called Combat de Negres dans un Tunnel  …

I like to read philosophy books when I am in the bath The works well when I am quite alone But it does prove difficult when my wife joins me in the bath As instead of of studying my books I just stare at her magnificent breasts She sympathises with my dilemma And often lends…

My mother died a few weeks ago and today I cut the first sod of her final resting place She had wanted to rest with with my father But as we were digging I noted a greying in the damp soil For the first time in many years my father was looking up at the…

Planned events are often totally unplanned And come as a total surprise They have little consistency I today disturbed my fathers ashes With little cause Because of the purity of my mathematics

I was carving sad angels into the soft wood of her catafalque This task did not please me as I could hear the angels weeping loudly within Their tears fell quietly on to the cold marble tiles And produced an inland sea I had planned to escape But I knew that I was drowning

Two railway carriages one blue and one chocolate and cream Were dreaming in the shade of the heavy trees I soon found the Lady Beatrice She was naked save for a crimson cloth loosely held With the upmost respect I touched her pale breast And felt her soft heart beating beneath Twilight was drawing its veil over the thinning…

I threw a bottle of pink powder over the Holy Man And rendered him unholy You told me that there were twenty-nine types of lipstick But I have only counted twenty-eight I am decorating the colour-blind pigeons of the city Although I favor no colour There is an angel trapped in my washing machine It is…

Chile I often find dead birds On the roads in Chile This fascinates me As I have never visited Chile   Super Motif I was told by the authorities That they did not execute One of the perpetrator’s of the hotel massacre Because of his exotic beauty   Beauty should always be forgiven And its…

Automatic 19    Tonight I stayed in and watched a football match on my tiny television The match was stopped briefly as flares were thrown on to the pitch I was so excited by this event that I sent a photograph to Africa In return I received a single red rose and a poem that…