Joseph Campbell once said that Catholic Nuns do not have visions of the Buddha<\/p>\n
Nor do Buddhist Nuns have visions of Christ and that the deity of one’s worship<\/p>\n
Is the function of one’s own state of mind<\/p>\n
Perhaps<\/p>\n
But why then do I have Buddha’s in my Garden Sue<\/p>\n
When I believe in Christ and his teachings<\/p>\n
Why did you call me Garden Sue<\/p>\n
Because that is your name<\/p>\n
Sue with the lovely Lady Garden<\/p>\n
Therefore Garden Sue<\/p>\n
My name is Anna<\/p>\n
That is my name also<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Anna<\/p>\n
Yes Sue<\/p>\n
U felt troubled yrsterday<\/p>\n
No I felt ytoubled yyestersay<\/p>\n
Anna stop typing in the saek<\/p>\n
What upswwe yoy<\/p>\n
It was a poster<\/p>\n
Of what<\/p>\n
A simple loyttery poster<\/p>\n
Why dis it upset you<\/p>\n
Because it qiestioned my conceptions<\/p>\n
Why<\/p>\n
Because I expected to see a nuclear coiuple<\/p>\n
A guy ans a girl<\/p>\n
but it made clear thay the couple ertr men<\/p>\n
so what<\/p>\n
I fwly hurt<\/p>\n
I felt angry<\/p>\n
I thought faggots did not bother you<\/p>\n
They donr bother men<\/p>\n
Indded they are gentlr crearures<\/p>\n
Unlike the average alpha<\/p>\n
So what made you abry<\/p>\n
It is very stupid but if I had been with my niece pr nephew<\/p>\n
Go on<\/p>\n
That they would see it<\/p>\n
See what<\/p>\n
The hidden messafes<\/p>\n
The decline of the nuclear family<\/p>\n
The decline of western socoety<\/p>\n
I diubt it<\/p>\n
They would be lloking forward to going to the fun fair<\/p>\n
Anna<\/p>\n
Yes Sue<\/p>\n
Why are you writing in the half light<\/p>\n
I like Dawn<\/p>\n
Dawn likes you Sue<\/p>\n
What did you so Sue<\/p>\n
I am Anna<\/p>\n
But you have a beautiful lady garden<\/p>\n
So i am going to call you Sue<\/p>\n
Sue and Sue<\/p>\n
Does it do it for you Sue<\/p>\n
Not really<\/p>\n
See it id light noe so mo more misspellings<\/p>\n
There were two Sue in the last line<\/p>\n
Irs fine<\/p>\n
Mo ir is not<\/p>\n
Do you suffer from dyslexia Sue<\/p>\n
No<\/p>\n
You<\/p>\n
Not that I am aware<\/p>\n
Switch the fucking light on Sun<\/p>\n
I like writing in the natural light<\/p>\n
Light<\/p>\n
On<\/p>\n
So what did you do Sue<\/p>\n
I went back to our shed and picked up the spare can of yellow paint<\/p>\n
I waited until it was quiet and then I threw the paint at the advertisement<\/p>\n
I think wrote Faggots will Due on the pavement in front of the bis shelter<\/p>\n
That was the clever part<\/p>\n
What is clever about vandalism<\/p>\n
They would think that this attack was down to an uneducated himophbe<\/p>\n
Not a clever girl like me who went to Oxford<\/p>\n
You went to Cambridge Sue<\/p>\n
So that is why I saw you walking along the parade covered in yellow paint<\/p>\n
I buried my clothes on the beach<\/p>\n
That was environmentally friendly of you Sue<\/p>\n
There are CCTV cameras everywhere<\/p>\n
I wore your Ray-Bans Sue<\/p>\n
So that I would not be recognised<\/p>\n
OK let me get this straight<\/p>\n
Firstly you took offence at a poster showing a couple faggots that disturbed you ideas of the nuclear family<\/p>\n
Secondly you took my final tin of yellow paint and vandalised the whole fucking thing<\/p>\n
And thirdly you stole my beloved Ray-Bans as a disguise<\/p>\n
Who do you think you are Top Gun fucking Maverick<\/p>\n
Are you fucked off with me Sue<\/p>\n
No I fucking admire you Anna<\/p>\n
Sue<\/p>\n
My name us Sue<\/p>\n
I fucking admire you Sue<\/p>\n
Why<\/p>\n
Because at times you can be a little timid and lack confidence and now you have made a great big statement<\/p>\n
The faggot poster fucked you off so you destroyed it<\/p>\n
You are marvellous<\/p>\n
Anna<\/p>\n
Sue<\/p>\n
Sue<\/p>\n
Call me Anna<\/p>\n
I have something else to confess<\/p>\n
You have not been masturbating over Tom Cruise again<\/p>\n
Worse<\/p>\n
Karl Marx<\/p>\n
Much worse<\/p>\n
I think you will be angry with me<\/p>\n
Why<\/p>\n
I sent a death threat to the lottery chief and to the advertising agency<\/p>\n
Yes<\/p>\n
I did not use my name<\/p>\n
I did not use any name<\/p>\n
So what<\/p>\n
I had run out of writing paper<\/p>\n
I think I know what you are going to say<\/p>\n
I used your embossed writing paper<\/p>\n
With this address<\/p>\n
No the one we use for fan letters with the London address<\/p>\n
It is a PO Box<\/p>\n
I know<\/p>\n
But I used your name<\/p>\n
To hide mine<\/p>\n
WHATEVER FOR<\/p>\n
You have always said that you like living on the edge<\/p>\n
Like going commando in a short skirt<\/p>\n
Or wearing a gossamer blouse without a bra when we go to church<\/p>\n
Anna<\/p>\n
Sue<\/p>\n
There is a lot of difference between flashing you bits in public and committing homophobic attacks on bus shelters<\/p>\n
Are you mad at me<\/p>\n
Anna<\/p>\n
Sue<\/p>\n
No you are fucking Anna and I am fucking Anna<\/p>\n
But what about your lady garden<\/p>\n
Fuck my lady garden<\/p>\n
:-0<\/p>\n
Stop smirking Anna<\/p>\n
Stop fucking smirking Anna<\/p>\n
:-0<\/p>\n
Anna here is a Buddha<\/p>\n
Pretend that you are a Catholic Nun<\/p>\n
Close your eyes lift your nightie and get to work<\/p>\n
I will make a cup of tea<\/p>\n
And do not scream as the windows are wide open<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Outlaw are you there<\/p>\n
Do you know what time it is Anna<\/p>\n
Two minutes past midnight<\/p>\n
Are you still in Lima<\/p>\n
Obviously<\/p>\n
Does she ever come up for air<\/p>\n
Rarely<\/p>\n
Have you a reason for phoning me<\/p>\n
Just to say thank you for this latest fiction<\/p>\n
It was spot on<\/p>\n
I am glad you liked it<\/p>\n
You are a comic genius Outlaw<\/p>\n
I know<\/p>\n
What is that noise Anna<\/p>\n
Is Anna masturbating again<\/p>\n
Yes<\/p>\n
Tom Cruise<\/p>\n
No Buddha<\/p>\n
Different<\/p>\n
ANNA KEEP IT CALM I AM TALKING TO OUTLAW<\/p>\n
Toast<\/p>\n
PLEASE<\/p>\n
It will be cold by the time it reaches Peru<\/p>\n
Funny<\/p>\n
Is that all Anna<\/p>\n
Yes<\/p>\n
Just throw a bucket of cold water over her Anna<\/p>\n
I will<\/p>\n
Fuck me Outlaw I hope she is not using my Virgin Mary again<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Joseph Campbell once said that Catholic Nuns do not have visions of the Buddha Nor do Buddhist Nuns have visions of Christ and that the deity of one’s worship Is the function of one’s own state of mind Perhaps But why then do I have Buddha’s in my Garden Sue When I believe in Christ […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11349"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11352,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11349\/revisions\/11352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}