{"id":11819,"date":"2022-09-02T18:22:59","date_gmt":"2022-09-02T17:22:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartpoetry.art\/?p=11819"},"modified":"2022-09-02T18:35:52","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T17:35:52","slug":"11819","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2022\/09\/02\/11819\/","title":{"rendered":"An Offensive Poem"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the early days\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I used to write music\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

On the naked backs\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Of my girlfriends\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

These pieces were very very\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Short\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

As they were all dwarves\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is an offensive poem Outlaw<\/p>\n

Do I give a fuck Anna<\/p>\n

You should give a fuck Outlaw<\/p>\n

Why<\/p>\n

Because dwarves has feelings<\/p>\n

So do lobsters but we still eat them<\/p>\n

Do we care about their feelings<\/p>\n

I prefer lobsters to dogs<\/p>\n

That is not the point Outlaw<\/p>\n

You are a hurtful fuck<\/p>\n

A hurtful fuck is what you are Dry Anna<\/p>\n

You should know that<\/p>\n

FUCK YOU OUTLAW<\/p>\n

In your dreams I would rather fuck all my dwarf girlfriends<\/p>\n

Which believe me was hard as I am over six foot tall<\/p>\n

I kept dropping them which was not that fair so I decided<\/p>\n

To become a musician and a poet and fuck women over 5\/6 inches tall<\/p>\n

It cuts down your choice but hey ho fuck hey ho<\/p>\n

Have you fucked a man lately Anna<\/p>\n

Mind your own business<\/p>\n

It is my business Anna<\/p>\n

Go fuck a nun Outlaw<\/p>\n

I have and I can thoroughly recommend it<\/p>\n

So angelic so clean even cleaner than your lovely Anna<\/p>\n

I hope you drown during your morning swim you cunt<\/p>\n

That is not likely to happen as I have had a swimming pool installed<\/p>\n

Seventy laps before breakfast roughly a kilometre and a half<\/p>\n

There will not be an ounce of fat on me unlike you Anna<\/p>\n

I am not fat Outlaw you undress me enough<\/p>\n

Not now but it will happen as you get older<\/p>\n

Fuck off Outlaw you are just trying to hurt me<\/p>\n

Anna will love me no matter no matter my size<\/p>\n

But will she fancy you<\/p>\n

How often does she visit the valley<\/p>\n

What was she doing when you were in Tangier<\/p>\n

Fucking Penelope I would think<\/p>\n

Outlaw you are trying to make me cry but I am a hard bitch and you know that<\/p>\n

You only created Anna and I as you like to watch gay girls together<\/p>\n

Anna can I remind you that all I need to do is depress the delete key and you will cease to exist<\/p>\n

Lost lost in an eternal oblivion my dear<\/p>\n

Outlaw<\/p>\n

Yes Anna<\/p>\n

Are you going to apologise to me<\/p>\n

Far from it<\/p>\n

Do you remember the pizzas that I popped around yesterday<\/p>\n

Yes they were quite nice but a little bitter<\/p>\n

That was because I poisoned them<\/p>\n

Poisoned them<\/p>\n

Yes Outlaw a slow but deadly poison<\/p>\n

Fuck Off Anna you do not have the brains<\/p>\n

I do as I have read about the uses of poisonous plants<\/p>\n

You are joking<\/p>\n

No I am the serious one remember<\/p>\n

Then I will dial 999<\/p>\n

It is too late for that<\/p>\n

Bitch<\/p>\n

You are right for once<\/p>\n

I have all your folders on the screen and I intend to delete you now you bitch<\/p>\n

I would not do that Outlaw as I have an antidote right here in front of me<\/p>\n

If you delete me then the antidote will vanish with me<\/p>\n

OK you win<\/p>\n

Will you give the antidote to Penelope<\/p>\n

She is not here<\/p>\n

The other Anna<\/p>\n

She is not here<\/p>\n

I want you to come to The Green House and kneel on the welcome mat and apologise to me – tears might help<\/p>\n

How do I that this antidote will work<\/p>\n

It will<\/p>\n

And it will again and again and again<\/p>\n

What do you mean<\/p>\n

It is simple the antidote will contain this poisoning but K is in your blood and it will remain there for a considerable time<\/p>\n

How long<\/p>\n

Will ten years do you<\/p>\n

You are full of shit Anna<\/p>\n

Am I do you have peppery taste in your mouth<\/p>\n

Yes<\/p>\n

That is the taste of the poison Out;aw<\/p>\n

Aee your workds are beginning to fail you<\/p>\n

Whay muusu I do<\/p>\n

Delete that fuckinng poem OOurtlaw<\/p>\n

Y ru so offended Anna<\/p>\n

May I write Outlaw<\/p>\n

Outlaw<\/p>\n

See it is no funny is it<\/p>\n

You shit on everything around yoy<\/p>\n

PKease let me Write<\/p>\n

Done<\/p>\n

As I said you shit on everyything<\/p>\n

Rake you fingerrs of off the key Outlaw<\/p>\n

Good boy that is better<\/p>\n

I will be a nice bitch today and pop the first tube of the antidote up in a few minutes<\/p>\n

I will leave it next to your train set you dad bastard<\/p>\n

This will inhibit the poison for a while<\/p>\n

And then<\/p>\n

That depends on your behaviour<\/p>\n

I ask again why did that silly poem offend you<\/p>\n

That is easy<\/p>\n

Do you remember Vivian<\/p>\n

Yes she was your crippled lover<\/p>\n

Correct<\/p>\n

But she was not a cripple but a dwarf and as she is no longer with us the best fuck I have ever had<\/p>\n

Even better than Anna<\/p>\n

No she was different<\/p>\n

I am always in the shadow of Anna’s outstanding intellect<\/p>\n

But Vivian was a blank canvas and that is why I miss her<\/p>\n

Does Anna know about this<\/p>\n

Yes<\/p>\n

What is her take<\/p>\n

You know Anna does not have a bad word for anyone<\/p>\n

Outlaw as I walk towards your house with the antidote you will do three things<\/p>\n

Firstly you will delete the offensive poem and secondly promise never to threaten me with oblivion<\/p>\n

And thirdly you will add an apology to this website<\/p>\n

Choose your own words<\/p>\n

Hurry up Anna I beginning to feel chilled<\/p>\n

Well then close the window you fucking idiot<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Anna you are such a bitch<\/p>\n

Cool loyal and loving Anna<\/p>\n

I love this fiction so much I could hug you<\/p>\n

You are so clever my darling<\/p>\n

I do love you<\/p>\n

He bought the pizza shit so easily<\/p>\n

And will drink this piss and mint mix for as long as we want him to<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the early days\u00a0 I used to write music\u00a0 On the naked backs\u00a0 Of my girlfriends\u00a0 These pieces were very very\u00a0 Short\u00a0 As they were all dwarves\u00a0   This is an offensive poem Outlaw Do I give a fuck Anna You should give a fuck Outlaw Why Because dwarves has feelings So do lobsters but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11819"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11819"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11819\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11823,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11819\/revisions\/11823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}