I am writing a poem called<\/p>\n
Coffee Cunt and Cheese on Toast<\/p>\n
Why<\/p>\n
Because they are three of my favourite things<\/p>\n
Really<\/p>\n
Yes<\/p>\n
I adore coffee and wherever I am in the world<\/p>\n
I drink coffee<\/p>\n
India<\/p>\n
Iceland<\/p>\n
Ireland and in Greece<\/p>\n
It does not matter where I am<\/p>\n
What about cunt<\/p>\n
Explain yourself<\/p>\n
Do you find my cunt tedious<\/p>\n
Far from it<\/p>\n
I think your cunt is delicious<\/p>\n
It is full of mystery and delight<\/p>\n
I like your pubic hair<\/p>\n
I often sleep there in my dreams<\/p>\n
And think of your perfumed cave<\/p>\n
Cheese on Toast Stanley<\/p>\n
This is just too explicit of you<\/p>\n
I love you dearly but Cheese on Toast<\/p>\n
Have you another toaster<\/p>\n
No<\/p>\n
So why Cheese on Toast<\/p>\n
I know that you are blunt and have no filter<\/p>\n
But Cheese on Toast<\/p>\n
It is all about mathematics Jane<\/p>\n
In what way<\/p>\n
You know that I love Coffee Cunt and Cheese on Toast<\/p>\n
So you ensure that these are the component parts of our lazy mornings<\/p>\n
You make the coffee and then bring it to me<\/p>\n
Your gown falls open revealing your cunt<\/p>\n
And then you bring me Cheese on Toast<\/p>\n
This makes me happy<\/p>\n
You spoke about mathematics<\/p>\n
Yes<\/p>\n
What I am saying is that each can exist on its own<\/p>\n
Coffee is a solitary drink<\/p>\n
Cheese on Toast is a solitary snack<\/p>\n
What about cunts<\/p>\n
I was getting to that<\/p>\n
A woman will only have one cunt<\/p>\n
If she had two or more she would look funny<\/p>\n
But cunts are solitary creatures shy and hidden<\/p>\n
They are not as gregarious as the others<\/p>\n
Stanley you are talking shit<\/p>\n
I implore you to end this poem straight away<\/p>\n
Why<\/p>\n
Because it going nowhere<\/p>\n
It is going forward<\/p>\n
All poems go forward<\/p>\n
And I suppose backwards<\/p>\n
Stanley<\/p>\n
Yes<\/p>\n
Shut Up<\/p>\n
Why<\/p>\n
I want you to stop writing<\/p>\n
If you do not I will wear a ghastly nightie in bed<\/p>\n
I will serve you tea and give you mushrooms on toast<\/p>\n
I hate mushrooms<\/p>\n
Are you going to stop writing<\/p>\n
Yes<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Stan and Jane\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I am writing a poem called Coffee Cunt and Cheese on Toast Why Because they are three of my favourite things Really Yes I adore coffee and wherever I am in the world I drink coffee India Iceland Ireland and in Greece It does not matter where I am What about cunt Explain yourself Do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11974","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11974","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11974"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11974\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11978,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11974\/revisions\/11978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11974"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11974"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11974"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}