{"id":12341,"date":"2023-01-19T19:00:33","date_gmt":"2023-01-19T19:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=12341"},"modified":"2023-01-19T19:01:11","modified_gmt":"2023-01-19T19:01:11","slug":"faggots-and-fleas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2023\/01\/19\/faggots-and-fleas\/","title":{"rendered":"Faggots and Fleas<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I often purchase faggots <\/p>\n\n\n\n

From my local Iceland store <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Faggots have never been to my taste <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I prefer wholesome red meat <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there is a reason that I use this shop <\/p>\n\n\n\n

An odd reason some of you may say <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is because I have a prehistoric creature in my lower garden <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Its origins are a complete mystery to me <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although flea ridden it has a huge appetite<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And has shown a distinct liking for faggots of all flavours <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So far it has eaten the mayor of my town <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And three council clerks plus a member of the local cycling club <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My main fear is that Iceland will run out of stock <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beacause neither Sainsburys or Waitrose stock faggots at present  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it will not entertain Tesco’s faggots or Marks & Sparks <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have tried making my own but the monster <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just spits them out for the seagulls to consume <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are missing a prehistoric monster <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is about thirty foot in length <\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the features of a large lizard <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then please contact me in your dreams\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tim Tim <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I often purchase faggots  From my local Iceland store  Faggots have never been to my taste  As I prefer wholesome red meat  But there is a reason that I use this shop  An odd reason some of you may say  That is because I have a prehistoric creature in my lower garden  Its origins are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12341"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12341\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12343,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12341\/revisions\/12343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}