{"id":12500,"date":"2023-01-21T16:17:03","date_gmt":"2023-01-21T16:17:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=12500"},"modified":"2023-01-21T16:17:03","modified_gmt":"2023-01-21T16:17:03","slug":"wish-you-were-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2023\/01\/21\/wish-you-were-here\/","title":{"rendered":"Wish You Were Here<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is all about sharing your hotel room <\/p>\n\n\n\n

With one’s fishing rod<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are my Spanish memories <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My sister is lying naked <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On her bed as it is so hot here <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She is farting a great deal <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am organising my flies <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I am off out soon <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I fish at dawn <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then breakfast with Lucy <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then we spend the morning on the beach <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or at the hotel pool <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are due to go on a sightseeing tour this afternoon <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am not sure where we are going <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But is something to do with <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Spanish Civil War<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This evening I am travelling <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To the Oona Estuary with Phil and Rodge <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a spot of night fishing <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whilst Lucy sleeps off her day <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What an awful time for you to be called up <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For Jury Service <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember the rules <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Black Guilty <\/p>\n\n\n\n

White Innocent <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a way although I feel sorry for you <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am glad that I have a criminal record <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One fight too many during my misspent youth<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No Jury Service for me <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should not have been <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Such a good girl <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple of drugs busts <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is all it would have taken <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lucy is wandering to the bathroom <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be sick again <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have never noticed it before <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Butt she has a tattoo of Harry Potter <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On her arse <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was not there the last time I saw her bum <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It takes all kinds <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You have Wittgenstein on your arse <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I see it every time that I pass by <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yesterday I visited a souvenir shop <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And purchased you a straw donkey <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As you requested me to do <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is called Maria <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck knows why as it is a male donkey <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have also purchased a Barcelona shirt for you <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So that you can wear it at home on cooler days <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was going to go for the away shirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But thought you would prefer the home shirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am going to have to break soon <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Lucy has thrown up on the bathroom floor <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nice job for Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bad Lucy <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you know what I have just noticed <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That Lucy has an anus as pretty as yours <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As female ani go <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have a feeling it is going to see some action quite soon <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that Stan will have two jobs instead of one <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is cutting into my fishing time <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How I wish you were here Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As you could clear up Lucy’s sick and shit <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whilst I am chasing early bites <\/p>\n\n\n\n

TOO LATE <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lucy has exploded <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bathroom is a WAR ZONE <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feel sorry for your Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n

God I hope that she is not on the rag <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a far far better thing that I do than I have ever done <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

God the smell is killing birds in flight <\/p>\n\n\n\n

No fishing for Stan this morning methinks <\/p>\n\n\n\n

See you on Tuesday my love <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The plane lands at twelve <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as it does not crash <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will drop Lucy off at the convent and come straight home <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps I can fuck you up the arse <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please wear your Barcelona shirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would enjoy that Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However on second thoughts <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am not heavily into bums anymore <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no description as to what I am seeing <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps we can pop down to the local curry house <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And have Alsatian instead with a Chihuahua starter <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stan x<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ps – I have filmed the Lucy event on my phone and it should be with you now – enjoy !!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jane  It is all about sharing your hotel room  With one’s fishing rod These are my Spanish memories  My sister is lying naked  On her bed as it is so hot here  She is farting a great deal  I am organising my flies  As I am off out soon  I fish at dawn  Then breakfast with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12500","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12500","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12500"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12500\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12501,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12500\/revisions\/12501"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12500"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12500"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12500"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}